Mark was there right from the beginning. It was on his shoulders that I dreamt of going to the university to make a change in my family; “Nobody in my family has ever been to the university,” I said. “I want to change that. My results are good and it should take me somewhere if I should buy forms to go to school.” He asked me, “Why don’t you? What’s stopping you?” I answered, “The same thing that stopped everyone in my family from going to the university: money.”

“Don’t worry, I will help. You’re one smart woman. I won’t let you end up the way everyone ended up in your house. Buy the forms. I will get you the money.”

I lifted my head off his shoulder to look at his face. “What did you just say?” I asked. He smiled at me while repeating every line he said. “Just buy the forms. I’m here. I will do my best.”

It sounded like a joke, a joke without the punchline. I was waiting for him to say it. To tell me, “Oh I’m just joking,” but he never did. His voice was firm, his face stern and his demeanour supportive. “I will get the form when it comes out,” I told him. “whatever happens I will let you know.”

The forms came out and he got it for me. My mom asked where I was getting the money for school from and it was the first time I told them about Mark. I was nineteen years old but I felt it was the right time to talk about Mark to my parents if he was going to take me through school. “Mark is paying,” I told my mom and dad. “He’s paying for everything because he can.” They didn’t understand why a man was paying for my education. They asked questions and I answered them honestly. I told them I had been seeing him since I completed SHS and came home. I told them he was serious about me. They told me to bring him home.

I had to push beyond myself to be able to bring Mark home. He didn’t want to meet my parents. He thought it wasn’t the right time but my parents wanted to meet the man who was willing to pay for my education and ask why he was willing to do what they themselves couldn’t do. It was a brief visit. He told them I was clever and he wanted to help because he could and my parents accepted him into the fold that day.

I completed first year going to second year when I met Francis, a banker who helped me skip a few lines at the bank while paying my fees. He took my number and we became friends. We talked for a week or so before we both laid back on the friendship. We were not talking like we used to. He was not saying hi and I was not saying hello. He was just there and I was just there but we both knew we could count on each other as friends. Once in a while he’ll stick his neck out in my inbox and say hello to me and I will do the same.

By the time I was going to the third year, things were very hard for Mark, so hard we started talking about differing my course until things got better. Differing wasn’t an option on the table for me so I told him I would do anything to at least raise my fees. I spoke to family and they all shook their heads. I spoke to friends and they told me if I asked them about it yesterday, they could have given me something. I was looking for money but all I had were excuses. Francis said hello one day and he came to mind as someone I could ask for help from. I was that desperate.

“Francis, I know I shouldn’t be doing this but my back is on the wall and the punches are being thrown from all directions. I need rescue. I need my fees or else I’m dropping out.” He didn’t let me say another word before asking me, “How much is your fees?” I told him. He asked me, “Is that all you need?” I answered, “Yes, that’s all I need. My fees.” He asked, “No hostel fees and pocket money? Nothing for handouts and those things?” He was right. I needed all that but my fees was the most important thing to me. I answered, almost in whispers, “Well, they are all part but my fees is the most important thing.”

He got my details and paid the fees for me. He asked me to pass by and he gave me a lot of money he said I should keep for contingencies. “That’s too much,” I said. He answered, “I know you’ll find it hard to come to me again for help so keep this. It’s an advance payment for your future needs.” I was grateful and I let it show. He wished me all the best and we parted. I told Mark about it. To avoid the whys and hows I told him Francis was a family who decided to help. He didn’t ask any questions but assumed I had a helping family so he decided to lay back. Whenever I needed something and I called, he was the one who suggested that I should speak to Francis.

READ ALSO: He Won’t Marry Me Until I Give Him A Child First

Nothing came from Mark but everything from Francis. Francis knew I couldn’t ask him for help so he didn’t wait. He sent money into my MoMo monthly and visited me in school to drop off groceries and care. I was tempted to ask why he was doing all that but I stopped. “Maybe he is just a good man,” I convinced myself. “Maybe, he’s the one God sent to care for me.” 

I thought of good things whenever I thought of Francis but Mark started filling me with doubt. He stopped caring about my needs though things got better for him. He was the reason I was in school but when I needed something the most, he told me, “This once, let your parents help you. What have they been doing with their money since I’m the one doing everything for you?” One day we had a fight. He told me he was the reason I could breathe. I told him to take away his air and I would still be fine. We said a lot of things to each other. We were both bitter. 

The fight affected my mood and the way I acted towards people, Francis included. For days, I acted out of character. Francis asked why and for the first time I told him about Mark. He was shocked to know I had a boyfriend. I told him the history of things, where it began and gave Mark all the credit in my life. He asked me, “So what about us? What about me and you? What are we?”

“I don’t know. I can’t give it a name because you didn’t declare your intentions.”

“I didn’t have any intentions at first but now I do. I’m in love with you but there’s someone else so what do we do?”

He threw the question at me as if he didn’t know the answer. I told him I couldn’t leave Mark and he understood me. He said, “I’m here. No matter what happens, I will be here.”

Francis continues to take good care of me though he knows I don’t belong to him. Mark knows he has me and he’s the air that I breathe so he treats me anyhow. Anytime I ask him something, he tells me he’s saving for marriage. He wants to marry me right after my graduation. I wanted to marry him but now I doubt it looking at how he treats me now. 

I have a year left to complete school. Francis still provides for me, he comes around to drop groceries and care as if nothing has happened. I love Francis but I can’t let Mark go. I wish I can marry them both. Mark because of what he did right from the start and Francis because he’s a good human. 

Contribute Financially If You Want Me To Help With House Chores | Beads Media

I don’t know what the future will look like but for now, I want to just concentrate on learning and completing school. One day, I will tell the truth about Francis to Mark and see how he’ll behave. I’ll tell him it wasn’t a family who was helping but a man I met at the bank who later came to love me the way a woman ought to be loved. However he takes it, I hope it leads both of us to a place where we can be honest about ourselves and our future. 

–Efe

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.

******