When I finish telling my story, I know some people will ask why I stayed so long or why I kept trying to make him choose me. All I can say is that unless something happens to you, it’s easy to think you would make all the wise decisions.

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My story began in 2015 when a friend of mine used my picture as her display photo. A gentleman saw it, and took an interest in me. Back then it seemed like a good thing when my friend called and said, “I have this friend called Boss. He wants your number. Should I give it to him?”

I was warm and receptive when he contacted me. We spoke briefly before he proposed love to me. I didn’t turn him down. Shortly into the relationship, he travelled to another African country to play football. We kept trying to make the long-distance work until he started changing.

He left my messages on blue tick, and always missed my calls. I did some investigation and confirmed that he was involved with another woman over there. They were in a committed relationship. I had no other choice but to move on.

Around 2018, he fell sick and returned to Ghana. That was when I stooped low—because when he came back with apologies, I accepted him back.

We resumed our relationship but he continued to be inconsistent with me. Whenever I sensed something was wrong and tried to talk about it, he would say everything was fine. Then turn around and make me out to be the problem. During this period, I visited his home often. His mother was always happy to see me around. Sometimes she would sit me down and chat with me for hours. This gave me the impression that we were building something real.

Last year, my mum passed away. Before her death, Boss had travelled again. It was also around the same time that I experienced a miscarriage. He didn’t even try to visit or check on me. I had to bring it up before he showed up. Even that, I could tell his heart wasn’t with me. He insisted he loved me but I couldn’t see it because I complained too much.

The same year my mother died, one day while I was trying to distract myself from grief, something pushed me to check a friend’s WhatsApp status. There, I saw my boyfriend’s wedding photos. Boss had gotten married to someone else in the country he travelled to.

I had spent ten years of my life with this man. Did it all mean nothing? I was shattered but I didn’t confront him with anger. I just peacefully sent him a message: “Congratulations on your marriage. God be with you.”

He responded with a long message, not to apologise, but to justify his actions. I didn’t respond.

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As if that wasn’t enough, one of his friends abroad told me that if Boss had been smart about his moves, he would have kept me as his woman in Ghana so that whenever he was away from his wife, I would still be there for him. That was the height of disrespect I was accorded.

Even his mother turned against me. The same woman I used to visit told me bluntly that she didn’t know me and that her son already had a child with the woman he married.

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This is what life put me through from 2023 to 2024 and even this year. They say the woman he married has money. I am an unemployed nurse so I can understand why he chose her over me. My biggest fear now is whether I will be able to give birth. I’m 35, turning 36 soon.

I shed tears as I write this but I have decided to trust God to restore my lost years. I hold no resentment against anyone. I have forgiven myself for everything I allowed. I have forgiven Boss too for his deception and betrayal.

—Enam

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