
Chris and I have been together since we met in 2019. At that time, I was still in senior high school while he had just completed SHS and gained admission into nursing training college.
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As time passed, I completed SHS, and traveled to the south to work while waiting for my results. Even though he was older than me, I supported him in school with my income. The truth is, I was supportive of him even before I completed SHS. I used to help him because my family gave me money, and he was always in need. As someone who believes love is all about genuine care, I made it my responsibility to take care of him.
Everything seemed fine—even when the relationship became long-distance, we still communicated well. He always confessed his love, appreciation, and gratitude for all the ways I provided for his needs.
He has completed the nursing training, and he is finished with his national service this year. We were all excited when he got a new job even though his work place is far from home.
Because of the distance, he has to rent a room. When he told me about it we planned together how to furnish it. He even sent me a list of items he needed for the room and said, “Pick the ones you can afford to buy for me.”
Since I was far away, I told him, “I will send some money for you to handle it yourself.”
A few days later, he sent me a photo of a lady, saying she was “disturbing” him. When I asked how, he explained that she’s a friend who wants to help him set up his room but also wants a relationship with him. I asked if he had told her about me, and he said yes, but she didn’t believe it because she had never seen him with a girl.
I suggested talking to her directly, but he refused, saying if he gave me her number, she might discourage me, and I wouldn’t want the relationship anymore. He even asked, “How would you feel if someone calls you about a relationship you know nothing about?” That response made no sense to me. If he truly has nothing to hide, why won’t he let me talk to her?
Since then, I’ve gone quiet on him. I have been focusing on my work and school. Instead of making amends, he behaves as if nothing is amiss. When I ask him for the truth about his relationship with the lady, he gives me no answer.
What hurts most is how much I’ve sacrificed for him. On his birthday, I always send him money. On Valentine’s Day, I buy him chocolates. On Mother’s Day, I even send money to his mother because she’s so kind to me. I also send them gifts, credit, and data whenever I can. And yet, he has never bought me a single gift.
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I haven’t told his mother about this yet because I know she’ll try to convince me to stay with her son. But I’ve made up my mind. I am leaving.
Chris, if this post finds you, I want you to know that you can go ahead and move on with your “female friend”. I’ve moved on too. I’m not angry. I’m not cursing you. Be happy. May God bless us both.
—Sandra
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Sandra, it’s well with you.
Are you not making a mountain out of a molehill? There’s no evidence your man is cheating. Would you rather he kept the information to himself? Encourage him to remain faithful to you and warn him to distance himself from the other lady. Having said that learn to love yourself more than anyone else. Generally, men feel fulfilled when they provide for their women and family. If he is not making any effort to buy you gifts and reciprocating your kindness then chances are he is or will extend his generosity to another woman.