When I met her and proposed, she told me she was in a relationship, so I should give her some time to break up with the guy first because it was not working. I gave her time, but I stuck around. She visited often, and we went on dates. One day we kissed, and the rest happened. She still hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend, so I didn’t know how to define our relationship. I loved her. I was willing to wait for her to break up with him properly so we could start on a clean slate.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

While she was still with the guy and complained about how abusive and unfaithful he was, we were still doing our own thing on the side. This went on for months until I told her to make a concrete decision. She told me I shouldn’t worry about the guy because I was the one she loved. I told her, “I know you love me, which is why you’re with me, but I don’t like the fact that we still have the shadow of him looming over us. Do something about it, or I’ll leave.”

So for about a month, I didn’t open up to her. I didn’t call like I used to, and when she called, I usually didn’t pick up. She started complaining that I had gotten what I wanted from her, which was why I was treating her this way.

She later called to tell me her parents were involved in their relationship, so it was a little bit delicate. I told her, “You have time. Deal with it. I will always be here for you.”

It took her two months to finally come back and tell me it was over. She said she broke up with him a month earlier but wanted to wait and see the flame burn to ashes before making a move. That very day, I took her out and proposed to her again. She smiled. Her heart felt full. It was special knowing the stumbling block was finally gone.

We were fine, doing our best to maintain the relationship, but not long afterward, I realized all was not well. She didn’t introduce me to her friends or take me home to see her parents the way serious relationships work. We once met her dad, and she didn’t introduce me. She said it was too soon. Her mom later came to meet me at her place, and she introduced me to her as a colleague at work who had come to help with a job.

I was in too deep, but my sanity was still intact. I told her I wasn’t going to tolerate that. She called me overbearing, but I stood my ground. After repeated complaints, she introduced me to her elder sister, who welcomed me and even encouraged me. “My sister has gone through a lot. I hope you become her peace now,” she said. I promised to be just that.

I went to her place one day and saw a car parked outside. I tried going in, and she told me her uncle had visited, so I should go home and she would come to see me later. It didn’t sit well with me, so I hung around to see who the man was. He came out of her room around 11 p.m. It was the same guy she said she had broken up with.

I nearly confronted them, but I waited until he was gone and then confronted her. “Is that what you’ve been doing behind my back? I’m not forcing you to be with me, so if you think he’s the one for you, then leave my life alone!”

I left her place, telling myself it was the last time I was going to see her. It was over. But her elder sister called me and said her sister had been crying because I wouldn’t pick up her calls to listen to her explanation. She tried telling me what happened that day, but my girlfriend took the phone from her and started talking. She said the guy came to visit without telling her. He only came to show her his new car to get her to go back to him, but she didn’t love him anymore.

It didn’t sound convincing, but because her elder sister was involved, I respected that and took her back. This time, I made it clear that the next time I saw the guy around her again would be the last time we would talk. She nodded, and that very night, we made love.

She got pregnant and said nothing to me about it until I found out because of how she was behaving. I didn’t have any problem with the pregnancy. It even gave me a chance to settle our issues once and for all. We didn’t talk about abortion because it wasn’t on the table. I asked why she didn’t inform me, and she said she wanted to surprise me. I asked, “What’s the way forward?” and she said she was looking at me.

I told her, “I would like to perform the basic traditional rite as a form of respect to your parents so that after delivery, we will have a grand wedding.” She agreed, but anytime I asked about a date, she told me her parents were not ready. I called her elder sister, and she also told me to wait a little so she could speak to her parents. The pregnancy was growing, but she kept telling me to wait. Finally, she told me her parents said it was traditionally wrong to perform marriage rites on a pregnant woman, so we should wait until after delivery.

The whole thing looked sketchy, but I went along with whatever she said. She delivered for a week, and I wasn’t informed about the delivery. When I found out, I decided to go and check on her, and I saw the same car I had seen parked there that night. It meant her ex was there. I was angry. I entered the room and found the guy sitting with my girlfriend’s parents in the hall. The first question her dad asked was, “Who is this?”

She answered, “He’s a friend. He came to visit me.”

I shouted, “Stop talking nonsense. Who is your friend? Why are you keeping my baby from me? Enough of the disrespect!”

Everyone looked at me like a fool. The guy asked to leave, but the parents stopped him, and we all sat while I narrated my story from beginning to end. The guy said, “If the child is yours, I don’t have a problem. You can have him,” and then walked out. He didn’t put up a fight. He didn’t ask any questions. He just walked out. My girlfriend lost her voice and couldn’t say a word.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Her dad interrogated me until we agreed to do a DNA test to prove paternity. The results came, and I wasn’t the father of the boy. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt. It felt like liberation. It showed me how foolish I had been throughout the story. I walked out and thanked the gods who made it possible for me not to father such a child. Today, I’m happy. I called myself a fool just yesterday and promised myself never to let love make a fool of me again.

—Godwin 

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******