Before he asked me to marry him he told me everything about his financial situation. He said, “My dear, I’m a broke man. I don’t have money or anything to offer you except my love.” I told him, “I earn my own money so I am not looking to be with a man because of money.” He reiterated, “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I have absolutely no money.” At first, I thought he was just being modest.
However, when we spoke deeply about his situation, I realized that he was not joking. He was at the lowest point of his wife. He was a university graduate without a job living on a monthly allowance of GHC400 that his church paid him for being their instrumentalist. Although his situation was disheartening, it didn’t push me away. If anything, it made him like him more for being honest and open about his struggles.
When the Covid-19 pandemic started, churches were closed down so he no longer received his monthly allowance from church. If things were hard before, they were worse now. He had no income at all so it became more difficult for him to function properly. I didn’t want him to become dependent on me or go around soliciting help from others so I bought him a car.
He had a driver’s license, and drivers were not banned from working during the lockdown. It seemed reasonable to buy a car for him to use as an Uber. All he had to do was work with it and use the money to take care of himself. But this man kept complaining about the car. Every day came with a new problem that needed to be fixed.
This went on until I told him, “If it’s that bad then let’s sell it and buy a new one.” He agreed and we sold it. The money we made from the sale was not enough to buy another car so I added my money to it for us to afford a new one that didn’t give us problems like the first one.
It’s been two years and ten months since he started using the car. He has only given me GHC10,000 out of the money I invested in the car. I am not happy about it but that’s even the least of my problems.
Currently, we are married with a daughter. I had the baby through C.S. so the hospital bills were more expensive than we anticipated. Could you believe that this man gave me GHC500 as his contribution to the GHC4,000 I had to pay to the hospital? I could afford to pay the rest so I didn’t complain. Maybe, that was my mistake.
Right now, his church pays him GHC1,000 for working as an instrumentalist. I don’t know if this is the reason he stopped working with the car we bought almost three years ago. He claims he doesn’t want to work with it anymore because it’s giving him problems, but he drives it to events. He uses this same car to visit his friends and give them rides when they need lifts. How can a grown man explain this for it to make sense?
He has left the financial aspect of the home for me to take care of. I buy the food we eat, pay utility bills, our child’s school fees, and even our rent. When I ask what he does with the money he gets from the church, he would go out and buy a tin of Milo and a few biscuits and tell me, “This is all I can afford.”
We Met At El-Classico Match | Rich & Derby
He stays at home all day yet waits for me to come back from work to go and pick up our little girl from school. I cook and stock the fridge. All he has to do is warm it for dinner but he still waits for me to come and do it.
I have also stopped bothering with what he will eat when I get home after 6 PM. Very soon I will stop stocking the fridge with food and washing his clothes. I just want him to take up some responsibilities around the house. I feel I have been through enough because of him and I can’t take it anymore. I took a chance on a broke man hoping he would do well by me when things get better for him but he has proven to be just a lazy man who won’t even do anything to help himself. I am just sharing my story here because I don’t have anyone to talk to about these things. I hope I am taking the right step by taking away my wifely duties to him.
—Akyaa
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
You enabled his behavior the second time you bought the car. It was out of a place of love. If you had left him to figure out how to survive and make his own money you would have an idea of how it would be.
The Bible say in Exodus that it is the responsibility of a man to provide food and clothing for his family. He relaxed because you do it. What would happen if you stopped providing for him? take back your car sell it invest the money in a business that will sustain you and your children.
Nsem wo world. My wife should come and hear this story. I have been killing myself ooh. Hahahahaha. My sister, if the story is true then you need to start been on top when you enter the bedroom. Start feigning financial hardship. Then ask to sell the car to support some house expenditures. When the money comes, fake some emergencies on the child’s health and put your money back into your account. Your husband is behaving like Samson’s lazy father in the bible. You want to sleep onto of a woman and still have her work and feed you. Hhmmm, nsem wo world.
Wow❗how I wish I have got this opportunity
You have tried oo…I would be happy to hear from you backdoor. Please link up
This things are becoming rampant now. My own husband is worse. He will not even drive the Uber. It’s a tedious work. He want big job with HND. There are 1001 schools inmmy community but he’s not even sent application to one. He will not even wash his own cloth which smells like shit because he was lazy since his childhood and doesn’t take care of himself well. He expects me to house him, feed him, cloth him, wash his cloth too after returning from work almost 9pm at times. I’m soo fed up after 5 and half years. God knows I’ve really tried. That dirty pride of him is what puts me off more. He borrows from people I introduce to him and claims he want to give us feeding fee. My dear if you are tired advice yourself. You have done what Napoleon couldn’t do.
This things are becoming rampant now. My own husband is worse. He will not even drive the Uber. It’s a tedious work. He want big job with HND. There are 1001 schools inmmy community but he’s not even sent application to one. He will not even wash his own cloth which smells like shit because he was lazy since his childhood and doesn’t take care of himself well. He expects me to house him, feed him, cloth him, wash his cloth too after returning from work almost 9pm at times. I’m soo fed up after 5 and half years. God knows I’ve really tried. That dirty pride of him is what puts me off more. He borrows from people I introduce to him and claims he want to give us feeding fee. My dear if you are tired advice yourself. You have done what Napoleon couldn’t do.
More grace to your elbows, you have really done well. But trust me, Our God is a rewarder. I feels your pains and knows what you are going through don’t give up just yet. Ask God for more grace. Sometimes, some of these things you really will not understand, but pray and ask God for just one day at a time. Take it easy on yourself as the men have taken things easy. Do not carry all t he burden. Thank God each day for being able to go through without stress on your finances. Ignore him and focus on God.
When women desperately want marriage, they entertain lazy men, afterwards they start to complain. Madam you are reaping what you sowed so endure it.
Dear Akyeaa,you have already prescribed your medication,just follow on it ,stop stalking the fridge,washing his stuffs and others and reserve some little energy and time for yourself and the baby before you die from stress and he moves on with other women.
Just live your life dear.
Some of us married men are really doing a lot when we read stories like this and realize we are not doing bad at all.
hmmm u hve tried paapa I can imagine the pressure on you, this koraa will affect ur thinking.ur husband is very lucky to have u as a wife.
secondly he is lazy and this will not help you at all, as u hve said consider withdrawing from ur responsibilities and see.
Lazy man that doesn’t even help in the house, madam u are doom in the end u cannot do anything. My mother went through the same thing and I know how it feels, u better seek for divorce there is a befitting man out there waiting for you.
U took a risk marrying him at his lowest point that was the mistake u made but is not to late my dear
HMMM this is so sad but sister that guy is a lazy guy and just taking advantage of you ,its now and its better you are seeing it see that man will not change and he will always see it as because you are hardworking he will eat by all means
please leave him and continue with your life so you can concentrate on taking care of yourself and the child this situation coupled with love have led many into their early grave.
be warn these are clear signs of a man without a vision even for himself nor the family he is raising
Wow❗how I wish I have got this opportunity
My sis…the time has come for you to decide your fate and your future with your child..
That guy will not change. In the end his families will not remember all your efforts.
I have resigned from my work and focus on Uber full time….that is what I support the family with and pay my daughters school fees of 7.000 every term.
Any one of you lady’s having this problem with these lazy men…advice yourself now for the sake of your kids.
Feel free to call or whatsap 0248438515