Before I accepted my husband’s proposal, that was even before he became my boyfriend, we had a conversation about what could bring our relationship to an end. He said, “Cheating. If you cheat on me, I can’t forgive you.” He asked me the same question, and I also gave him the same answer that it was cheating that would spell the end of our relationship.

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So we started carefully, knowing the one thing that could bring us to an end. He gave me the password to everything he had that required a password, and I also did the same. Gradually, he added his MoMo PIN, and his ATM PIN followed later when we got married. I was sold. If a man could do that, then he’s bearing his soul to you. He is showing you his nakedness and saying, “Look at me, that’s all I am.”

We dated for almost two years and later got married. I used to tell people that I had the safest and most drama-free marriage. Even if we fought, it was just for a day, and fights didn’t happen between us often. When we got pregnant with our first child, the only thing he didn’t do was help me carry the pregnancy. When the time came for me to deliver, the only thing he didn’t do was help me deliver the baby. He was with me throughout the journey. And it’s been like this for the past six years until one dawn he woke me up and said he had something to tell me. He said, “There’s this lady in my office. She likes me, but I didn’t like her.”

I swallowed the saliva in my mouth, and it made a deep sound. I thought he had cheated and our marriage was coming to an end. He continued, “I thought I didn’t like her until recently, when I started thinking about her differently. The way things are going, I know the only way to stop me is to let you know about it. If you know, then I can’t go ahead and cheat with her.”

We both went quiet for several seconds. I asked how long it had been going on, and he said several months. I asked if he saw the lady every day, and he said they were both in the same office, sharing a corner together. I asked how it started and if he found the lady more attractive than me. Suddenly, jealousy crept in, and I started asking a lot of questions. He answered them without pausing or even thinking about it.

I knew he was being honest when he said, “She’s younger and also dresses to suit her young age.” That was his answer when I asked if he found her more attractive than me. I asked what I should do to make him see me the way he saw the lady, and he said it wasn’t my fault, so I didn’t need to do anything. After that, he fell into bed and slept while I stayed awake, thinking about what I should do with the information.

All of a sudden, my husband has been coming home late without any reason. At first, he would call and tell me he would be late and go ahead to tell me what would make him late. But these days, nothing. I would call his line, and he wouldn’t pick up until later, when he would call and tell me he missed my call.

I grew suspicious and started looking through his phone. There are not so many messages on his phone, and that even makes me grow more suspicious. What happens to the messages on his phone? Where do they go after chatting?

A few days ago, I asked him how it was going with the lady and if he had been able to get rid of his thoughts about her, and he answered, “Oh, long ago. She has been moved to the office downstairs, so I don’t see her as often as I used to.”

I used to trust his words, but this one didn’t connect. It didn’t feel like it was coming from a sincere place. It felt hollow, like it was coming from a place of lies. So I asked him, “Is there something I should know that I don’t know?” He paused for a while before saying, “Nothing. You know everything.”

If he’s being truthful, then why does my intuition tell me he isn’t? I checked his call logs yesterday, and there were only three call logs on his phone. His SMS has only messages from service providers. You don’t even see messages from MoMo transactions. I’m convinced he has eaten the forbidden fruit and is trying hard to hide it from me. I want to step up my investigation.

I wish I could follow him whenever he’s late from work, but I can’t leave the kids alone to do that. I also don’t have the money to hire someone to follow him around, so I’m asking those of you who caught a cheating husband: what trap did you set for them that they fell into? What else am I not doing? Please give me the tips. Maybe this hurt I’m feeling would go away once I discover the full truth.

—Sandy

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