I never in my life thought I was going to be with a woman who has a child until Frema came along. She makes motherhood look so simple and clean to the eye. When I met her, she was with her daughter. I thought she was married, but she later told me, “Yes, I’m married to my daughter so I’m two in one.”

A few months later, we started dating. Honestly, I didn’t care about her previous relationship, so I didn’t ask questions. Everything I knew about the guy, she told me herself. That he was abusive, both physically and emotionally. When she was pregnant, the guy beat her to the extent that she feared she was going to lose the child. That was when she learned to leave the relationship.

I adore her daughter so much, like my own. She’s always playful and full of questions. My mom met her once and also fell in love with her, so Frema could bring her daughter to my mom whenever she had an important event to attend.

One afternoon, she brought the girl to me and said she was attending to an emergency. I kept the child until it was getting late. I called her phone, but it was off. The girl looked sleepy, so I got her food and she slept, hoping Frema would come later for her. All through the evening, I called her number and it was still off.

Early the next morning, I saw her coming with an elderly woman and a gentleman who wore a mean face. It felt like trouble, but I didn’t know who was in trouble. She asked me, “Where’s the girl?” I asked, “What’s the matter?” The guy retorted, “Stop asking silly questions and bring the girl.” Frema roared, “How dare you speak to a good man like that? You wish you were half the man he is.”

It turned into a banter between them. The elderly woman asked me to bring the girl, but I didn’t until Frema went in and brought her out.

The man with the frown was her baby daddy, and the woman was her baby daddy’s mother. The baby daddy had threatened to snatch the girl away; that was why she came to hide her with me. And because the guy couldn’t get the girl, he seized her phone.

There was a storm between them, and I was unknowingly drafted into it. One early morning, I heard a loud knock on my door. I opened it, and it was the guy. “Where is my daughter? I know she’s inside your room. Bring her out before I box your nose off.”

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

The girl wasn’t with me, but he forcefully entered my room just to see for himself. I reported him to the police, but now I don’t feel safe—safe in my own house and in the relationship. The two of them are constantly fighting, and I find myself in the middle. One police friend advised me to leave the scene because he had seen the end result of such issues before. “It might not end well with you. Just leave. She’s not the only woman.”

It’s hard, but I believe there’s a better way than leaving. Can you tell me what the better way is? Because currently, I can’t think straight.

—Sammy

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