In 2023, I moved in with my boyfriend. We met back in SHS. He was a strict school prefect, while I was the quiet, smart girl everyone knew by name but never really knew personally. Our friendship started the day I stood up to him for being too harsh on one of my classmates. From there, we became close… then distant… then close again. By the time we completed school in 2021, we weren’t even talking. I don’t remember why.

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He resurfaced in January 2022 with an apology on Facebook. By then, I was working as a pump attendant, so I could save some money for school. He was also working, but said he wasn’t planning to further his education.

By April 2022, we started dating. He kept telling me how intelligent I was and how my brain shouldn’t go to waste. “A girl like you should be in school, and I will do everything possible to help you.” In December, when I gained admission to school he was there for me. He even rented a place so I could stay with him in Accra and commute to school. He took care of the finances, and I was in charge of managing the home. That was our agreement.

Things went smoothly until the end of my first semester. Money started becoming a problem. He ran into debt, and the slightest issue triggered an argument. I went home during vacation to help my mother in the market, and when I returned, I brought every foodstuff I could carry just so we could manage.

By God’s grace, he landed some good business deals and cleared part of his debt. From then on, we lived carefully. My mom also promised to plant seasonal crops to help pay my school fees yearly, so the burden wouldn’t fall on him alone.

In 2024, during my second year, I started meeting old SHS classmates on campus—one of them was my school father. Back in school, he used to buy me food when things got hard. When we met again on campus, I told my boyfriend about him. Maybe I mentioned him too much because suddenly, my boyfriend demanded I block him. I refused because I found it unfair. After all, this was someone who helped me survive SHS.

That disagreement turned into a big fight. Out of anger, he told me to leave. I had nowhere else to go. No friends. No family in Accra. So I apologized for the sake of peace. After that, he began posting other girls on his status and calling them “friends.” Anytime we fought, he’d withhold money for school or go days without talking to me.

At the end of last year, he became gentle again. I thought maybe we were finally healing. He even asked that we visit my village so he could see my mom. We did that during Christmas.

Then June came.

A call came through on his phone while he wasn’t around. I didn’t answer, but the way the name was saved made me uneasy. When I confronted him, he said she was just a worker for one of his customers. A few days later, I saw text messages from this same lady again.

One morning, I checked his phone and found they had been texting frequently. When I confronted him, he got angry that I checked his phone. I cried and called my mother, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her everything.

He claimed he was only a “betweener” trying to fix a relationship issue for the lady and her boyfriend. I didn’t believe him. He offered to call the lady, but I insisted he call the boyfriend instead. He refused. After that, he changed his passwords and became cold towards me again.

Weeks later, things calmed down, but my instincts wouldn’t sleep. I eventually found his passwords again and checked his phone. What I found this time was worse. There were four women he was dating.

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The lady he said was a friend’s girlfriend worked for one of his sisters’ friends. She sold pastries in a restaurant close to our house. Everything made sense: the pastries he randomly brought home, the evening outings he claimed were work-related.

When I called the lady, she acted innocent. But the messages on his phone told a different story. There were deleted chats, secret meetups, gifts, explicit photos, and dates he claimed he could never afford to take me on because we needed to manage our finances.

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He even bought me perfume from one of his women. I didn’t suspect just how badly he was messing up because he played his cards well. He came home every night, acted normal, ate my food, and slept beside me like nothing was happening.

I haven’t been the same since I checked his phone the last time. I am emotionally exhausted, confused, and so angry that I fear what I might hurt him. I keep asking myself if he is behaving this way because he is financially responsible for me. Is that how life works? Do men lie and cheat on women they know depend on them? This relationship is teaching me bitter lessons, but I feel my hands are tied, and I can’t do much about it.

—Audrey

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