I gave her a lift one day, and we became friends. Our offices are in the same area, so when we got to the junction to her office, she would alight and I would continue to mine. When we became friends, I picked her up every morning at the same place. When I set off from the house, I would tell her so she would start coming to the roadside. Some days I got there before her; I waited. Some days she got there before me; she waited. It wasn’t a big deal because no one could predict the events on the road.

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After a while, when the friendship grew, I wanted to take it a step further. I liked her vibe and the way she was herself anytime we were together. The fact that I was with her every morning and after work every evening also meant we bonded over a lot of issues, and I came to understand the way she thought and how she wanted her things.

I proposed to her in the car on our way to work one day. I just said that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She laughed and asked, “Is that how to propose to a woman? You won’t even add a little bit of romance to it.” We both burst out laughing. “I’m old school. Forgive me,” I said. She said I should give her some time to think about it. She later told me she had broken up with her ex not long ago, and the guy hadn’t completely left the scene, so I should give her time to settle and feel whole again. I told her she could have all the time.

A few days after the proposal, I called her and told her I was setting off from home, and she said, “Why don’t you come to my house and pick me up? Be a darling this once.”

I drove through the winding and waterlogged road to her house and told her I was in front of her house. Fifteen minutes later, I was still waiting outside for this lady. I called. “Have you changed your mind? You’re not going to work again?” She responded, “Please, I’m coming. Give me just one minute.” Finally, when she came, I was expecting her to say sorry, but she sat down as if my time wasn’t that important. I was angry, but I held it in. After closing, she did the same. I waited in front of her office while she stood there saying goodbye to everyone and chatting with others.

The next time she asked me to pick her up from her house, I told her, “You better be ready by the time I get there. I don’t want to be late.” I got there, I called her, and she said she was coming. After five minutes, she was still saying the same thing: “I’m a woman. It takes time to get ready. Have patience, Oga.”

So I drove away. I had gone for ten minutes when she started calling. I picked up and told her I was gone. I couldn’t wait. She got angry and cut the call. I wasn’t bothered. In the evening, I asked if she was joining, and she said, “No, you can go.”

I went home without her.

In the night, she texted, “Because I said you can go, you left without me. Don’t you think you should apologize for what you did to me this morning?” I responded, “You should rather apologize to me. Aren’t you the same girl who walked to the roadside and waited several minutes for trotro? So what changed?” She asked me, “So is that how you’re going to behave when we start this relationship? Even on probation, see what you’re doing?”

I laughed. I told her, “That’s fine. If it’s because of the proposal that’s why you’re trying to use me as your chauffeur, then I don’t want it again.”

We ended the call with no resolution. She was angry. I was angrier. I hate being used, and I hate being taken advantage of, and that’s exactly how she made me feel. I was in love with her, but I was no fool to tolerate anything in the name of love. For a week, I went to work alone and didn’t even bother to call her or talk to her. I didn’t miss her; if anything, I was relieved I wasn’t going to wait for her like a princess.

She messaged me, saying, “I realized I went too far. Let’s forget about the fight and start again.” I told her there was nothing to start again and that I was done. We talked extensively. She sounded reflective and remorseful. The next day, I waited for her by the roadside, and she came. Since then, she still comes to the roadside, and we go to work together. We sit silently like strangers. We barely talk about anything we used to talk about. After work, she would text and say she would be waiting. I would pick her up, and we go the same way as we came.

Honestly, I want to stop picking her up. I don’t want to have anything to do with her again. When I think of the things she said to me—the fact that I was on probation—it gets me angry, and I don’t want to see her again. Will it be too mean on my part to leave her behind and go my way, considering how close our offices are?

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I don’t want her to start thinking something can still grow between us, and I also don’t want this proximity to bring back the feelings I had for her at the start, so the best thing for me is to cut her off. But on the godly side of my being, I feel I’m being wicked to drive empty to work and back when there’s someone I could have carried with me.

What do you think? What do you say to this?

—Bra Emma 

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