We went on our first date in a very cozy restaurant. I took a lot of pictures because the place was posh and very expensive. He said all the right things but didn’t propose. When the night was over, I gave my phone to one of the waitresses and asked her to take a photo of us next to a very big aquarium.

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The next day, he proposed, and I accepted. He made schedules for the relationship. Everything was planned ahead before it happened. He called it intentional, and I loved the fact that a man had me in his plans long before the day arrived.

Four months after the start of our relationship, it was his birthday. He said he didn’t want anything extravagant and that it was just a period of reflection for him, so he would be home thinking about his life. He didn’t even accept a gift from me, saying I was the real gift.

So on his birthday, I posted the aquarium photo and thanked him for being an intentional man and the love I didn’t know existed. I posted it on my WhatsApp status and did the same on my Instagram. A few minutes later, he called. “Delete the photos. I owe a lot of people money, and seeing this will make them come after me. I told you I’m keeping things low-key.”

The photo had been on my timeline for only thirty minutes. Once I deleted it, a call came through. From a lady. She said, “Who is Elvis to you that you’re calling him intentional and the love of your life?” I asked calmly, “Please, who am I speaking to?” She responded softly, “I’m the wife and the mother of his kids. Is there anything more you want to know?”

I quickly cut the call and called Elvis. “Are you married?” I asked him. He responded, “Why are you asking me this question? Is it because I told you to delete the photos?” I responded, “No, your wife called.”

“Wife?”

And then he cut the call. He didn’t pick up my calls again for days. I woke up one morning to a message he had sent at 1 a.m. He said, “We were going through a divorce when I met you. Unfortunately, the divorce didn’t go through. Find it in your heart to forgive me. I didn’t mean to deceive your heart.”

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He sent the message and blocked me. I was hurt a little, but I was okay that he finally gave me closure. Because of him, when I meet a new man, I ask these questions: “Are you married and going through a divorce? Or are you secretly married and looking for another woman?”

I’m grateful for Elvis. Because of him, I ask the right questions right from the start.

—Debbie 

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