After three months of dating, he suggested we should get married. I told him I didn’t know him well enough and couldn’t introduce him to my parents yet. Six months into the relationship, he asked if I knew him well enough and was willing to marry him this time. The relationship had been good, but I didn’t know his bad side. We hadn’t fought. We hadn’t exchanged harsh words. We hadn’t gotten to the point where we broke up and got back together because we couldn’t live without each other. I told him to at least allow us to date for a year and see what would come out of it.

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Two months after having that conversation, he lost his job. He came crying to me, telling me how he was going to live without a job. I assured him everything was going to be fine and that another job would come very soon.

Whenever I found a job that fit his qualifications, I sent it to him. He got a few interviews but, a year later, he still didn’t have a job. At that point, he was relying on me for pretty much everything. It got to the point where I had to give him a weekly stipend so he could get by. He eventually found a job, but the salary was so small. He still wanted to take it. We did the maths. His salary couldn’t even cover his transportation, but he still accepted the job.

He would come to my place and not leave because there was nothing in his house. We lived like that until his rent was due and he didn’t have the money to pay. He told me if he was able to work at that job for six months, he would qualify for a loan to pay his rent, so I should help him pay it first and he would repay me after six months.

I paid the rent for the whole year. Luckily for him, a few weeks after I’d paid it, he got a better job, one that paid him better than the one he had lost. We celebrated. It meant my boyfriend would be a man again. Even if he wouldn’t take care of me, he could at least take care of himself.

Once he got the new job, he brought marriage back to the table. I told him I was ready, but he should save enough first before we took that bold step. I was waiting for him to pay back the money he had borrowed from me. I didn’t ask him about it, hoping he would pay me as soon as he had saved enough. Months came and went, but he didn’t mention my money. So I asked him, “When are you going to pay what you owe me?”

He responded, “Oh, the rent? Don’t worry. I’ll pay you very soon. I haven’t forgotten.”

I was with him when he bought a new phone. I was with him when he sent money to his parents every month. I was with him when he paid his sister’s school fees. But anytime I asked about my money, he gave me a story and told me to be patient. A year later, he was due to renew his rent. The landlord had increased the amount, but he still paid it in full.

I told him, “If you can renew the rent, then it means you had the money to pay what you owed me all this while but decided not to, and that’s wickedness.”

This time, he told me to give him until the end of the month to pay me. Because of this money, I didn’t feel right about him anymore. I started resenting him. When he said he was coming to visit me, I gave him excuses. When he asked me to visit him, I told him I had better things to do with my time. I thought all these changes in my behaviour would tell him something. At the end of the month, I asked about my money again, and he told me, “Why are you rushing for this money? I’m going to marry you and pay your bride price. I’ll rent a new place for us to live. So what’s the need for you to get this money by all means?”

I was shocked. “What has my money got to do with marriage? I did you a favour when you were at your lowest, and now you’re telling me this? Fine.”

He said I got everything wrong and that he didn’t mean what I thought he meant. I only told him to forget about the marriage and pay my money. He asked for another month, which has also come and gone. From all indications, he was looking for a reason not to pay what he owed me, even though he had the money. One day, he even insinuated that I had slept over and cooked in his house, so I had also enjoyed some of the rent.

He called my mom, telling her he wanted to marry me but I was always postponing it. When my mom called and asked why, I told her the whole story, and she got angry. My mom called him and told him to pay my money before he thought about marriage. He got angry that I had told my mom about it. He said I was spreading it to the whole world that he owed me money.

He called one evening and asked me to come over for my money. When I went, he delivered a long speech about how I had embarrassed him and made him feel so small because of what he owed me. Once he put the money in my hand, I thanked him and told him it was over. “You’ve shown me the biggest red flag, and I can’t let it go unnoticed. You’re not a man of your word.”

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I left his place and blocked his number everywhere. He came over, but I didn’t even open my door for him. He said I was taking things too far. I told him that “too far” was how long he had kept my money. He called my mom and even my dad. He watered down the story to gain their sympathy, but I knew what I’d seen, so I stood my ground. I’m not going to marry a man like him. My dad thinks I’m being petty. Am I?

—Bella

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