My boyfriend and I have a lot in common. This has made us compatible in a lot of ways, but when it comes to our sex drives we are polar opposites. He is the type who doesn’t get tired easily. He could go for several rounds before getting satisfied. I on the other hand get tired after I finish. Once I do, I just want to sleep. And after every encounter, I wouldn’t be in the mood to do it again for about a week or two. Because of this, I mostly turn down his advances when he comes over. He has always understood when I turned him away so I thought everything was fine.

For the nine months we have been together he has made me happy. I believe that in all my experience in the dating world, this is the only time it feels right. He is the only man who makes me feel like I belong with someone. I love the way he makes me laugh all the time. I love how he pushes me to be better in every aspect of my life. He is not insecure about my success. He knows how much my career means to me, and he encourages me to climb higher. In fact, the first time I met him was on a flight back to Ghana after I had gone on a business trip. So we mostly discussed my work that day.

I don’t know if he was impressed by the work I do or by my passion for the work because he asked me out to lunch. It took us months of spending time together to finally start dating. I knew that he was good for me before I even agreed to be his girlfriend. And everything he has done to this point has been great. That is why I started thinking about discussing marriage with him. We are both in our thirties so I didn’t see any point in having a long relationship.

READ MORE: Is There A Law In Ghana’s Constitution I Can Use To Arrest My Ex-Girlfriend?

However, before I could bring up the topic he told me; “I want you to meet my sister. When are you free for us to go?” I was really excited when he said this. To me, it meant he wanted to take things to the next level. So I fixed a date and we went. When we got there his sister was welcoming. I could tell that my boyfriend looks up to her, just from the way he sought her opinion on everything we talked about. I saw it as a good sign. There is a saying that a   man will treat you the way he treats the women in his family. So I suppose I liked how much respect he showed for her.

After we finished eating, his sister insisted that I rest while she and Matt clean up. I didn’t want to be rude so I agreed. I heard the two of them talking in the kitchen. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but they were louder than they intended to be. I heard everything they discussed without even straining my ears. They were talking about me. His sister told him that I am a nice girl, and he agreed. He went on to say good things about me. I was smiling and feeling good about myself until I heard him say, “But there is a problem.” Then he delved into the problems we have in the bedroom. He told her, “Because of my past experiences, being with her makes me feel shortchanged. She doesn’t satisfy me.” His voice was laced with frustration.

Apart from how weird it felt for him to talk about our intimate affairs with his sister, it was her response that bothered me. “If she doesn’t do it for you in the bedroom then I will advise you to break up with her now. If not, you will end up cheating on her when you get married.” He didn’t say anything after that. He was quiet on the way back from the trip. And he hasn’t said anything to me about our shuperu affairs since we’ve been back. I also don’t know how to bring it up without looking like I eavesdrop on their private conversation.
What Women Do When They Are No Longer Interested In You–Beads Media

I love Matt very much, and I want us to get married. But I am concerned that he might leave me. I get that he loves doing it, and he is good at it, but is shuperu so important that it can end a beautiful relationship like ours? I talked to my best friend about my fears and she advised; “If you know you can’t fully meet his needs then give him permission to step out occasionally with one of these hook-up girls.” I know she means well but her idea is a terrible one. So I am asking the readers on this platform to give me better ideas on how to save my relationship. I am beginning to feel desperate.

–Bernice

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