
My younger sister called one late night and asked for a loan. She wanted GHC10,000. When she mentioned the amount, I trembled. I thought she was in trouble and needed that money to resolve it. Her voice was low, and her energy didn’t sit right. I probed, “What do you need that for? That’s a lot of money.”
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She answered, “I know it’s a lot, but I’m going to pay it back in two months.” She said it was for a business she wanted to start and that the person getting her the stock to sell was in China and was asking for that amount. I loved my sister so much. She was the only one left with my parents, and at her age, we were all praying for her to get a proper job that would take her away from home.
I sent the money to her in two installments. I sent GHC5,000 first and, a week later, sent another GHC5,000.
The next day after I’d sent the last installment, my mom called to tell me my younger sister was getting married. I said, “Seriously? I talked to her this morning, but she didn’t tell me. Since when has she been planning this?”
My mom said the man had come home not long ago to see them for the marriage list but came back a few days later to say they were getting married the following month. I called my sister. The first question I asked was who the man was and what he did for a living. She said the man had returned from abroad two years earlier after living there for ten years. He had established businesses, and she had known him for a year.
I asked her if she was ready for marriage, and she laughed. “But, Sis, you know I’m not a child,” she said.
I answered, “Yeah, I know, but you don’t have a proper job. You just took money from me to start a business. Why don’t you get something going first before thinking about marriage? You’re only twenty-five. Life is not passing you by.”
She told me the man was ready to help with her business and that the business was actually the man’s idea. I wished her well and congratulated her on the milestone.
The next thing I heard was that my younger sister had told my parents and my elder brother that I said she didn’t have a job, so she shouldn’t get married. She painted the picture as though I was jealous because I wasn’t married. My mom told me I had gone too far with my advice. My dad told me the God who had done it for my sister would also do it for me, so I should pray hard.
Just a little over a month later, my younger sister got married. I saw the man for the first time during the wedding. I thought he was too old to be marrying my sister, but who was I to say anything? The wedding went well. The reception was also beautiful. The next day, I traveled back to Accra to continue living my life. I saw the rest of the wedding through photos and videos on both WhatsApp and Facebook.
My sister wrote a long Thanksgiving list, mentioning the names of everyone who had contributed to making her wedding a success. Everyone I knew was on the list, but my name was missing. It was so obvious that I couldn’t miss it, but I didn’t complain.
The two months she had promised to repay my money came and went, but I didn’t call to ask for it. Three months, then four months passed, and she still hadn’t said anything about it. So I called to ask, and she started singing like a canary. “Oh, just give me a week. Even my husband is worried that I haven’t paid you. Give me a few days.”
A few days became another two months. I called again. This time, I needed my money to pay my rent, so I wasn’t calm about it. Again, she promised to pay within a week’s time. Weeks came and went, but my money didn’t come with them.
The next time we had a serious conversation about it, she had kept my money for eight months, and I wasn’t going to wait any longer. So I went home to get my money. I summoned her in front of my parents to explain.
I said, “She told me she was using the money for a business, but eight months later, there’s no business, only a marriage. Does that mean you used my money to get married?”
My dad spoke. He said, “Don’t bring her marriage into the discussion. That won’t pay the money.”
My mom also questioned why I wouldn’t concentrate on the money instead of bringing her marriage into it.
So I said, “Fine. Where’s my money? I hope I get it before I leave here because I need it urgently.”
My sister sat there while my parents did the talking for her. My dad asked when she intended to pay, and my sister responded angrily, “It’s not as if I don’t want to pay. What’s GHC10,000 that she has to make all this noise about it? We are expecting a container this week. Once the container arrives and we sell what’s in it, I’ll pay. She should just give me a month. I’ll pay and even add interest.”
A year later, I still hadn’t received my money.
This time around, anyone who came to say anything didn’t have it easy with me. I was like a hot iron. Touch it, and you get burned. I went back home again with fire in my eyes. She didn’t come to the meeting and wouldn’t answer my calls.
My mom said, “Adwoa, why don’t you let this money go? Do you still believe your sister can pay you back when she has nothing going for her?”
My dad added, “I’ve been meaning to address this. If you’re not careful, you’ll allow this money to break the two of you apart. Your sister is already suffering. You’ll either let the money go and never talk about it again, or you’ll let it put the two of you asunder.”
Unbeknownst to me, my sister had given that money to her husband as a loan to clear a container at the port. That container never arrived, and her husband said he was following up on it. He traveled a few weeks after their marriage and hadn’t returned, so all this while, things hadn’t been well with my sister.
I told my parents, “I’m ready to let this money break us apart. If I have to make it a police case, I will. She’ll pay.”
My brother called. He said the same thing, that I should let the money go. I told him, “You guys should stop talking trash. I should let it go and do what? If you love her too much, why don’t you all come together and pay me yourselves? I’m not letting this go today or tomorrow.”
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My sister still owes me after almost two years. Would you let this go if you were in my shoes?
Only God knows how I’ve been able to survive until now without that money. When I say I need my money, it’s not out of anger or malice. It’s out of necessity. I need that money back in my account.
What do I do?
—Adwoa
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Take am go police, if she has been paying 10 cedis a day she would had finished paying by now. Take am go police
Sister, collect your money. One of the annoying things is how people are quick to conclude that because you are not married yet, every action and decision is channeled towards hatred or jealousy of your sister being married.
Sister, collect your money wae. Involve the law if you must. Later she will come and tell you she didn’t force you or asked you to help her, because she only asked and you willing gave her the money. She won’t think that you wanted her good and was only supporting her.
ADWOA, don’t let her keep that money. COLLECT EVERT DIME! Collect it! GOD and Your ANCESTORS ARE SUPPORTING YOU!
You said it’s been 2 years since you loan her the money and 2 years you have survived by the Grace of God, as much as it is very painful I will say let it go and see what God will do in your life. Think it as a bad debt. The more you persue it your are really hurting your self.she is at fault but looking at things the marriage is not going on well. She did not take your advice on her marriage and your parent also play a part in this. They have forgotten that “all that glitters is not gold”
Put your trust on the Lord All Almighty and HE will reward you soon
When it comes to issues of marriage and grandchildren, our parents sometimes are partial especially if those involved don’t have children or married. It’s sad. The issue you raised about she not having a stable job should have been addressed by your parents. But no; they were too excited and blind to the reality.
Collect your money. She rushed into martiage so she should face the consequences..
Take your money and let your parents know that if she had told you the truth, you would had let it go. Tell them next time they should make sure their baby girl is working before giving her out for marriage
Adwoa, it’s painful but let it go…
It’s hurtful, but family in as much, is precious sometimes more than anything in the world
You acted out of kindness but because of her malicious character you’ve not been paid.
However, I would suggest you take this as a lesson never loan what you cannot overlook because often this act of kindness turns soar and to avoid being painted bad, give in moderation, but if you cannot afford it you say NO.
Follow your relative words it hurts but it’s the truth she has no means of paying you the loan but just want to frustrate you.
Look for other means to source funds to take care of your present issues.
God bless you.
Pls collect the money with interest. Your sister is a fool. And your family too is another. That your brother is mumu.
Only people with good heart understand the pain this girl is growing through. Our society does not care about accountability. If you mistakenly lend money to a family or friend, remember that is the end of the relationship because they will not pay .
at the end of it all, people will side with the debtor and paint the lender bad for not letting go. I have lived abroad and lend money tom people back home. The ones that did not make an attempt to pay are my closest friends and family.
Now, i don’t even lend a cedi to anyone. Whether your concerns are genuine or not
The moment you remove your mind and heart from that money, it the moment many other doors will open for you. Let it go. One day, you will realize its tge best decision you have made. Focusing on that money instead of God is robbing you of favour and miracles. Focus on God and see what will happen.
Your relationship with your sister is important. Siblings are made for difficult times. Don’t let that money break the relationship. Just be careful next time but know that the relationship with your sister is more important than that money.
Never ever loan money or do business with a family member, close friend or loved one. It almost never ends well. Though difficult but just see it as bad debt and let it go but keep your distance from all of them. In due time you will receive even more and your family will be the ones reaching out to you.
Sister… family is this. Family is important. Don’t break your relationship with your sister.
My question is does your sister see you as her sister as much as you see her as your sister? Does your parents see you as their own?
Ask God for guidance on how to collect your money. Whether you collect the money or let it go, you will not be seen as a sister to your sister or a daughter to your parents. It’s a sad reality though.
But in the end, please collect your money.
Thank you.
Please listen to the LAN person ok. They’re all saying let it go, don’t break family blah blah blah. Your sister and your parents broke the family, not you. IT’S NOT YOU. She took your money, caused trouble for you at home after you advised her, Your parents took her side because of the borga mentality (he’s borga so we are gonna cash out on our daughter). She intentionally omitted your name from the appreciation post. Told you point blank in front of your patents that 10k isn’t money and they have supported her all this while. So my sister Please you can choose to take your money even if it involves the police or you can let the money go for your peace of mind IF YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT IT(MONEY). But know that you didn’t break any relationship or family and also
Are you sure your sister still considers you as her sister??? There’s no relationship there. Those saying what they’re saying on this page haven’t been through something like this before so they may not fully understand but some of us do. The decision is yours ok.
You didn’t break or destroy anything, they did….. know that
Adwoa,please kindly let it go for your own peace,you will make lots more soon. She cannot pay that money back, her husband has scammed her ,he has run away ,just waite and see.
She and you parenst and brothers will learn the hard and bitter truth soon ,that old man has run away ,he might even have a family somewhere.
Just let it go ,more money will come and soon your fanily will come begging you .
It hurts but let it go dead for your own peace .
Pls let the loan go. Forgive her the loan, but never lend her money again, this is the Islamic prescription.
I wish I could explain to you why that is more righteous for you to do. It’s a command from God that you forgive your siblings no matter how they treat you.
It had become obvious she came to dupe you. Let it go but cut her off for good.