Larry has been my happiness for the past five years. You should see him, he is tall, dark, with toned muscles, and a head full of thick black hair. I remember when I first met him. He smelled delicious. That was what had me staring at him nonstop. Oh, when he smiled at me, something inside my belly fluttered.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

I tried to keep my cool though. I didn’t let the excitement in my heart spill all over the place. I even acted as if I wasn’t checking him out until he took the first step to talk to me. That first day of “hello” began months of seamless conversations.

I liked talking to him. He is the kind of man who made me feel heard. I could say anything at all that came to mind, and he would hold space for me. Most importantly, he remembered all the little things about me.

For months, we talked about almost everything. I was sure I knew him. I was sure he was the kind of man who would protect my heart. That’s why I fell for him so freely.

I knew he had other women in his life who liked him, yes. A man like him is bound to have a sea of admirers. But when he asked me to be his girlfriend, it didn’t scare me. If anything, I felt special. You know, I’m the one he chose among his many.

It was when the relationship began that I realized it wasn’t a one-sided admiration between him and these women. He liked them too. I saw it when I went through his messages for the first time.

My heart felt like it was on needles. I didn’t even realize it when I started crying. Did I leave him after that? No. At that point, I was already hooked. I felt I had gone too far to turn around. “Maybe if he sees just how much I love him he will change,” I said as I convinced myself to stay with him.

When I don’t go through his phone, he is the perfect man. And we live in a lover’s paradise. But every time I play detective with his phone while he’s asleep, I end up crying.

It doesn’t matter though, after crying I stay. Even when I leave, I find my way back to him. This is how I have tortured my heart for five years.

I went through his phone again quite recently. This time I found out the other woman he is dating knows about me. She thinks I am just an ex-girlfriend he is still in touch with. He’s told her she is the one he loves.

READ ALSO: I Am Torn Between The Woman I Love And The Woman Who Loves Me

Maybe he is lying to her. Maybe he is not. Whatever it is, whomever he considers his real woman, that’s not my problem. I’m just mad at myself for letting my heart fool me into wasting five whole years of my life with a man who was never going to choose me.

I made this guy the center of my world. I don’t even have friends anymore. He has been my only social connection in all these years. He is my gossip partner, my best friend, my everything.

Call a Friend and Ask For Thousand Cedis (A Prank)

Now, how am I going to cope with his absence when I walk away? I know it’s going to be hard and lonely AF but I guess I will have to learn to live without him.

I’m not here looking for advice. I already know what I have to do. I don’t need you to insult me either. I’m already beating myself up enough already. I wish I had listened to the people who told me to walk away from him all those years. I hate to admit it but they were right. Now, I’m just here feeling sorry for myself.

—Jenny

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB