I have been single for the past decade now. This was a choice I made ten years ago. I told myself I wouldn’t get involved with anyone until I had found my feet in life. I used the time to straighten out my life and get myself on track in every aspect of my life except dating. That’s why when it comes to dating I am a little bit rusty.

I find it difficult to approach women in person so my best bet was to meet someone online. I wasn’t sure how to go about it until I saw this lady’s photo on my friend’s WhatsApp status. “Who is she?” I asked my friend about her. When the answer she gave satisfied me, I asked for her number.

It was interesting to start talking to her. I expected a lot of blockages in my quest to know her, but I found out she is an open book. We chat most of the time, just getting to know each other. It was a pleasant experience until recently.

Three weeks after we had been talking, I suggested we meet in person. I set the time and date and she agreed to it. Before I asked her out on the date, our mutual friend had already told me that she liked me. So I already knew I was in a comfortable lead.

I’m a beach person. I love the night beach especially. Whenever I have a lot on my mind and I go to the beach, it helps clear my head. I wanted to have a clear head throughout our first date so I chose the beach for us. I remember when I first set my eyes on her. She looked so stunning. I even felt nervous in her presence. I didn’t want to give myself away so I hid my emotions very well. I presented a perfect picture of calm.

I must admit, we hit it off immediately. Some people are very sociable on the phone, but when you meet them in person they are extremely shy. I am like that but with her, that side of me didn’t come out. She brought me out of my shell. She was all over me, being so touchy. I was a bit surprised, but I pushed it to the fact that she was probably comfortable around me.

During our conversations, I noticed she was pushing so hard for me to tell her that I liked her. I took it as a sign that she wanted more than friendship from me. So I confessed my feelings for her and the fact that I also wanted more than friendship. She was quite happy and even made a joke that she would tell her friends she was off the market.

The rest of the night was great. The next day, she texted me, “I really enjoyed the date. Did you also enjoy it?” I responded, yes. Things continued between us nicely.

Then two days after the date I posted on my WhatsApp, “A thought that came to mind; Feeling calm often comes from having a few good friends you trust. It’s important to hang out with them regularly, have deep chats, and help each other out. Together, you can work towards big goals like staying healthy, having a loving family, and finding something meaningful.”

She replied to that status that she wanted exactly those kinds of friends, and asked if I could be that for her. I was taken aback. I had to make sure I heard her well, so I asked, “Do you want the kind of friendship that leads to marriage or just the normal kind of friendship?”

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She then replied, “I want us to continue knowing each other. From there we can see if there is more to what we have.” I replied “Okay,” even though I was sure we had agreed on our date that we would take our friendship to the next step. I mean, what else could I have said? I couldn’t have forced a relationship with me down her throat.

Although I played it cool, I was a bit shocked. I kept asking myself what could have changed within this short period of time? I thought we were past this.

He Called Me On The Phone So I Could Hear The Other Woman’s Voice

To sort out my feelings, I took some time off social media. I have been single for so long. I know I am rusty when it comes to certain things but I cannot deal with uncertainties of any kind. When I decided to meet her in person, I was already hopeful of a positive outcome. When I decided that we should take things to the next level, it was because I had already projected the outcome. I like to know what I’m dealing with so that I work accordingly. That’s who I am. It might come off bit harsh, but nobody likes dealing with uncertainties, so I try to avoid them a lot.

I just don’t know if I should continue talking to her or if I should just leave it as “What could have been.” Right now I am leaning more toward the latter, with each passing day. Whatever happens is fine with me. I know love will find me eventually.

—Ernest

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