I went for an interview and met Martin, my ex, as part of the interview panel. Two things came to mind. It was either he selected my CV so he would see me again or he simply added me to the list just to embarrass me.
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Our relationship ended bitterly six years earlier. He was cheating on me with another lady. I found out and tried to talk about it with him. He said he loved me and the lady was just a distraction, so if I didn’t like it, he would let her go. He still didn’t accept that he was seeing the lady. He only called her a distraction, not even to him but to me.
It happened again and again. Anytime we had a fight, it was because of that lady. So I decided to also look elsewhere for love. I didn’t even try to hide it. When he was with me, I talked to Solomon, the guy I was dating. When he asked if I was cheating, I also asked him the same question. “Are you cheating?”
He did all he could to find Solomon. He texted me that he was going to Solomon’s house to show him shege. I quickly started running in that direction. I called Solomon to leave home but he didn’t pick up. By the time I got there, there was chaos all over. Martin went with two friends but Solomon called five other friends to come. Martin was beaten very badly but his friends ran away. By the time I got there, he was kneeling down asking for forgiveness.
Solomon asked if I knew him and I said he was my ex, the one I left for him. Immediately, one guy slapped him from behind. “So you’re fighting because she left you? Don’t you understand it’s over?”
I pleaded before he was let off the hook. He got angry and tried to hurt me with the truth that yes, he had been dating that girl on the side because she was better and more beautiful than me. He insulted my person and used my womanhood to also insult me. Three years later, he married the same lady who was the reason for our fights. I wasn’t hurt. I had moved on long ago.
I traveled to work in another region but yearned to come home every day. So when I saw that opening online, I didn’t waste time at all applying, only to go there and meet him as part of the panel. I stiffened up, trying so hard to avoid eye contact with him. The questions came from all directions while he sat quietly observing. He didn’t ask even one question.
After I had been discharged and was leaving, he met me at the doorway and asked how I was doing. He said he was going to call me in the evening and I nodded. He didn’t call until the next day. He said I did well and would do everything in his power to help me get the job. I responded, “I’m not that desperate for a job. Let them do their work. If they select me, fine.”
He told me he held no grudges as if I had asked him not to hold grudges. A week later, I was called and offered the job. He also called later to tell me he had ensured that I got the job. I didn’t believe him but I thanked him.
I’ve been working here for the past five months. This guy doesn’t give me space. He’s either apologizing for the past or telling me how he regrets not marrying me. I try as much as possible to avoid him but he keeps coming. I’ve threatened to report him to HR for harassment but it looks like, here, the top people are so close together you can’t expect anything meaningful from HR.
I asked him, “What do you really want from me that you won’t stay out of my way?” He answered, “I just want us to be friends.” I asked, “Has your wife sanctioned this? Is she aware you want to be friends with your ex?”
I pleaded with him to let me be or I would start looking for a new job, but nothing has changed. He can walk into my office at any time. Because of him, I don’t walk or sit alone, but he still finds a way to get to me.
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This place is not a bad place. I can grow professionally here and the salary isn’t bad either. I don’t want to leave this place because of him and I don’t want to cause a scene with him. What do you suggest I do to cut him off apart from talking to HR, which I know won’t amount to anything?
