Fii was honest with me right from the start. He told me he was in a relationship and I told him that was fine. He told me, “I don’t know why I should be in a relationship and still see you and want to be with you. Is it normal?” I answered him, “I learned you men are polygamous in nature. Once upon a time, it would have been normal to feel this way but today, it’s not normal.”
We both loved each other and it showed in our dealings. He called me Obroni Tuntum and I responded, “Tuntum Broni.” The day he told me he had someone else in his life, I started pulling the brakes on my emotions. If I expected him to call me every day, I no longer expected those calls. His messages didn’t mean to me the way they used to be. I was trying to escape the web of loving him but he kept coming. Anytime I pulled an inch away, he pushed an inch forward. I even had to lie to him that I’d found a guy who was serious about me. He told me, “That doesn’t mean anything, right? I was here before he came so he can’t just push me away.”
I didn’t know what that meant but I presumed he had gotten what I was trying to communicate. His girlfriend wasn’t in town. She lived in another town and came to visit him once in a while. When his girlfriend wasn’t around, he gave all his time to me. We would go out and chill. He would invite me to places I had no business going with him and I’d oblige because that was what friends do. One night he tried to kiss me and I pulled away. He held me in his grip while looking into my eyes. I held both his hands and pushed them off me. He told me, “Not even a kiss?” I answered, “I don’t kiss my friends. It’s not right and you know it.”
He tried to convince me. He made it look like it was just a kiss he was asking for. I made it look like a kiss is everything we should avoid to stay sane. He didn’t force his way to get what he wanted. That’s one thing I appreciated about him. Once you say no, he pulls away. He was a gentleman and promised not to take what was not given. Once it isn’t on the table of our friendship, he wouldn’t try to get it. One Friday, I was expecting his calls but the calls never came. On Saturday too he didn’t call me until I called to ask why. “Are we fighting or something?” He laughed on the phone and still said nothing. When I pushed him to the wall, he told me, “She came to visit me. She didn’t tell me she was coming. She took me by surprise.”
I said, “Oh wow. I get it now. Can I come and see her?” I thought he would say no but surprisingly, he answered, “If you want to, I can’t prevent you.” I wanted to use the opportunity to make a statement so I went around and asked him to come out with her. We exchanged greetings and I told her how beautiful she was. I told her I was the one keeping her boyfriend out of trouble. “If any woman tries to come close, I give her an elbow and tell her to stay away.” She said thank you. She asked Fii, “So how come I haven’t heard you mention her name?” He responded, “She hasn’t come into our conversations, that’s why you don’t get to hear about her.”
I thought meeting his girlfriend would make him stop chasing after me. Or would change his feelings for me but it didn’t. If anything, it intensified what he had for me. He tried to kiss me. We were outside where anyone at all could see us. I pushed him away. I asked him to behave himself but he kept pushing for it. I screamed, “Are you trying to force a kiss on me?” He answered, “What else should I do? You know I want you that much.” That night I had to fight harder to push him away. I told him I wasn’t going to see him again because of that. “If you can be this aggressive outside, only God knows what you can do to me when we are inside. Stay away from me.”
I used that as a reason not to see him again. I didn’t pick up his calls often and when he texted, I ignored him. He kept apologizing to me but I wasn’t ready to forgive him. He came to my place trying to see me but the best he got was me meeting him outside and telling him to leave me alone. I was so consistent he finally got the message and left me alone. He called one day and said, “Thank you.” I asked why and he answered, “For keeping me grounded and being a true friend. I’m getting married next month. I thought I should tell you before sending you an invitation.”
I sighed. I congratulated him and told him he had made me proud. He asked when he could see me and I told him I was always around. Two weeks before his wedding we had sex. It came out of nowhere. We were even talking about his wedding. He said something like, “Honestly you haven’t been fair to me. The way I’ve always loved you, I doubt if any man could ever love you like that, but all I got in return was a no.” We were arguing it out when he tried to kiss me. I pulled away and he started begging for it. “Just this once and never again. I’m getting married anyway, what’s there to fear? Please don’t say no. I beg you. My knees are on the ground. I’m begging you.”
My heart broke for him. I allowed a kiss and by the time I knew it, we were both on the floor doing the do. It lasted for just a couple of minutes. I dressed up and said goodbye to him. I didn’t see him again until I saw his wedding photos flying around. Again, I congratulated him. I wished him well in his marriage. He said thank you and even said he had missed me. I told him to concentrate on his marriage and leave me alone.
He was away for one month and within those weeks a lot changed in my life. I felt heavy. Some days I felt dizzy. I would be sweating even when the air conditioner was on full blast. I felt nauseous. I felt weak often. I tested for malaria and it was negative but the feeling of sickness didn’t cede. I tested for pregnancy and I was positive. “Wow, what have I done to myself? Pregnant for someone who got married weeks ago?” I started feeling the heat of guilt and I cried all day that day. When the tears dried up, I went to the hospital to terminate it. A few minutes later, I was on my way home and was feeling the pain of what went through me and the pain of my own careless actions.
When he returned from his honeymoon he came to see me. He was under the impression that we could continue from where we left off. I was so angry when he tried to touch me so I told him what he had put me through. “Do you know what I’ve been through in these few days? I’m still bleeding as we speak. The pain is still fresh so don’t bring yourself. You Just got married. While you were out there chilling with your bride, I was here thinking of what I should do with your baby in me. Don’t push it because I’m already suffering.”
This guy broke down and started crying as if I’d beaten him; “Why would you do that to my baby? Why didn’t you tell me before doing what you did? Do you hate me that much?” He was sobbing throughout his speech. I was like, “Are you serious? What are you implying? What would you have done if I told you?” “I would have told you to keep it,” he answered. “What did you gain after doing what you did? You’re a wicked person. I never knew you could be this inconsiderate.”
The Problem Started When I Spent The Money I Found In His Laundry–Beads Media
This guy insulted me and called me names as if I had a choice. He wanted me to give birth so we could keep it a secret. I called him mad and he called me a murderer. For two consecutive weeks, this guy sent me messages calling me a killer and any other silly names that came into his head. When he was done, he blocked my line. I’m still hurt. Every once in a while I see him and he pretends he doesn’t know me. I boil inside when that happens. I want to pay him back for the pain and the insults. His wife comes around often. I want to tell her what happened before their wedding. I want to show her the messages, the insults and everything. I want to hit him where it hurts so he would feel this pain I’m going through.
I saw him days ago. He was walking with another girl. He wasn’t wearing his ring. Immediately he saw me, he put his hand in his pocket to hide his ringless finger. He has gotten a new woman and it’s obvious. I don’t envy him and I’m not jealous. I’m only in pain and want to pay him back.
—Clara
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This pain was brought on by yourself . Consider it as one of your own mistakes and move on. I don’t see how anyone forced you to do anything. You pretty much made all the decisions on your own so deal with it.