I have been married for three years, and within this period, I have caught my husband cheating three times with the same woman. I believe they’ve been together for three years now or maybe more. I am saying this because the first time I caught him was two years ago. He apologised and promised to end things with her. I believed him.
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He changed. He was doing everything he used to do when I was sure there was no one else. He called regularly. He was consistent with text messages. When I was on a break from work and returned home, he was the ever-doting husband. I truly believed he left her. Only for me to find out later that he found his way back to her.
Once again, he said he was sorry. “I will leave her for good this time.” We went through the same dance. He acted like a changed man to the point that I let my guard down. Last month, I went through his phone but found love messages between him and the same woman. This time around, I told him I was done with the marriage.
We have a two-year-old son. All the times I caught him, I didn’t involve his family or mine. The third time though, I called his mother. “I want you to know why I have decided to leave your son for good.”
His mother called for a meeting. Oh, you should have seen him. He was the embodiment of remorse. His mother, touched by his cries and pleas asked me to reconsider my decision to leave. She advised me to give him a chance to fix what is broken.
I agreed. So far, he seemed changed. But I am no longer in love with him. The chemistry we once had is gone. Every time he speaks, I hear everything he says as a lie. When I see him or even think of him, I feel an overwhelming anger and sadness that sometimes makes me cry.
I work far from home, so I only come back every three weeks. After we resolved the issue, I returned to work. Now, it’s time for me to go back home. However, I honestly don’t want to go.
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The thought of him touching me disgusts me. I promised him and his mother that I would give him another chance, but I don’t know how to do that. My heart just refuses to cooperate.
The last two times, I was able to heal quickly, but this time it feels different. Please, I need advice on how to truly forgive him so I can work on my marriage.
—Cady
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He needs to earn your trust. Let him check for StI
Don’t be in a hurry to normalise your relationship with him. You let him off the hook easily the previous times.
Your parents should know what’s going on and stay calm as you plan your next moves; be ready for the worst
Your story is similar to my current situation but I’ve been marrird for over 30 years.
I wish I could advise you on what to do.
I can only pray you find peace and take the right decision. God bless.
You cannot fix something that’s already dead. The fact that you don’t feel like going home is a pointer to the fact that you need to end things permanently but you’re just pleading with your head to do your bidding. Get out of that entanglement of a marriage and build yourself elsewhere. Life is short to keep up with such drama. You need to wake up asap.