If you haven’t read the first part, visit this link to read it before you continue with the second part.

After you posted my story I went through most of the comments. The insults were horrible and they got me pained. But I must admit, I felt the need not to give up on my love because of all of it. I took every word that was said to me in good faith. I have kept all the good advice in my heart. For all the people who concluded that I am an abusive person because of my moments of weakness, I want to share my life story with you. I hope after reading it, you will understand that I am not abusive. I am just a man who made mistakes.

Growing up, my home was a battlefield. My father was always the one who instigated violence and conflict in the family. He was a man who expressed his displeasure with his fists. Unfortunately, my mother was always at the receiving end of his anger. If his boss upset him at work, he would come home and lay it on my mother. If I did anything wrong, he would blame my mother for it and have her pay with black eyes and bruises on her skin. It didn’t matter to my father if I was present during his bouts of violence.

I was only a child. All I could do was watch my helpless mother get beaten by her husband and cry. His behavior has left me scarred in so many ways that I am getting emotional writing this story. His abuse of my mother continued until he was transferred to work in another town. My mother and I moved with him to his new residence. That was when everything changed. It was as if my father had undergone a personality change. The change happened when he started attending church. So I call it a miracle.

He was no longer quick-tempered. He laughed more and was always playful with my mum and me. And when he did get angry, he did not express it with his fists as he did in our previous town. It was strange. The good kind of strange. My home transformed from a battlefield to a mini paradise. My mother, who was always anxious whenever my father was around became relaxed and visibly happy. I saw the transformation and understood how harmful abuse is. So I made a vow never to hit a woman. “When I grow up like Daddy and I get married, I will never beat my wife. I will be the most loving and sweet husband ever.” This is a vow I had adhered to throughout all my relationships.

My first relationship was very smooth. We dated for three years, and I never hit her. We were thinking and planning our future when her mother butted her nose in our business. She said she would not allow her daughter to marry me because of my tribe. As we all know, our tribes are not like clothes we can choose, pick, or change. I could not have forced her to accept me either, so I walked away peacefully. I was heartbroken that I lost someone I loved because of tribal discrimination but life moves on.

It was after that relationship that I met the beautiful woman who came to sell African print shirts at my office. As I said earlier, she has been a blessing to me and I don’t want to lose her. I don’t understand why I lost my temper with her and broke my vow never to hurt a woman, but I deeply regret all of it. I have come to understand that sometimes we do things we never imagined we would do. It happens so that we would know that we are all capable of certain things. And I mean it when I say this, that experience has changed me.

I spoke to three counselors after my first story was published, and they helped me a great deal. I did not give up on trying to win back my love, despite some of you advising that I let her go. Even God knows that I did not intentionally set out to hurt her. And I wanted her to understand that I wouldn’t do it again. So I kept calling her. She blocked me but I used my friend’s phone to call her. When she heard my voice, she hung up so I sent her a text pleading that she talks to me. It was not easy to persuade her but eventually, she spoke to me.

READ ALSO: He Left Me To Go And Talk To His Ex On Our Wedding Day

“Give me one more chance for us to meet in person,” I begged, “If after meeting me you still don’t want me I will walk away and never bother you again.” Thankfully, she said yes. So we met one evening at a place close to her house. That day, I did not hold back. I poured out my heart to her. I put my pride aside and groveled. It was a very emotional moment but it was the sincerest conversation I had ever had with her. At the end of the evening, she still refused to take me back. However, she did certain things to show me that it was a possibility so I had high hopes.

Should Men Continue To Pay Bride Price? | Beads Media


Two days after our meeting, she called and we talked. She said, “I will give you one last chance, but I have rules. You know that my job involves meeting men and talking to them. I will not have you acting jealous and insecure over this. Do you understand?” I responded, “Yes, I promise to behave. You won’t regret giving me another chance. I love you.” I was so emotional I prayed to God to give me the courage not to disappoint her.

Three days after she forgave me I got a ten-year contract with one of the biggest hospitals in Accra. I’m currently in charge of the radiography department. We are planning to have our wedding this year. I will invite Silent Beads when we finally fix the date. We are working on a shop so she will open a boutique soon. Thanks a lot for all the comments. I even showed her some of the insults and we all laughed. I have her back now and this time I am not fighting her. I am rather fighting to put a ring on her finger latest by November this year.

–Armstrong

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB