My parents’ marriage is in pieces, and it is all because my dad won’t stop cheating.

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Last week, my mom called the woman he is cheating with. She told her to stay away from him, away from our family. The woman told my dad, of course. How else would he have found out? When he came home, he put his hands on my mother for calling his side chick. He did not exactly hit her, not like a punch, but he grabbed her and shoved her. It was the kind of violence that leaves no bruise on the skin but plants a cold, hard stone in your stomach.

And now, he won’t eat. If she cooks, he acts like the food is not there. If she puts a plate in front of him, he gets up and leaves the room, dragging his feet. He is starving himself to punish her. His anger is this quiet, heavy thing in the house, like the air before a storm that never breaks.

On Sunday, my mom called the woman again. Honestly, I do not know why she did that. She could have just let it go. But she called, begging her, woman to woman, pleading with her, and it just made everything worse. Now he is angry all over again, acting like she is the one who betrayed him.

I am stuck in the middle. I do not know how to feel.

Part of me wants to scream at my dad. How can you hurt her like this? How can you choose some other woman over your own family? How can you look at my mom, who has stood by you for years, and treat her like the enemy? The violence that is a line. You do not come back from that the same. I look at him now and I see a stranger wearing my father’s face.

But then, he is still my dad. Maybe he feels attacked, cornered. I hate that I can even think that, but I do. It is all twisted up inside me.

My mom’s pain is raw. It is in her eyes, in the way her hands shake when she cleans the same spot on the counter over and over. She is fighting for her home. But I also see how her calling that woman, again and again, is like pouring gasoline on a fire. It will not make him choose her. It just burns everything down faster.

I do not want to pick sides. But not picking a side feels like a betrayal, too. If I do not stand with my mom, am I saying what he did is okay? If I cannot find some scrap of love for my dad, am I forgetting he is my father? How do you stay in the middle when the middle is collapsing?

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I just need to see this clearly. Not as their daughter, but as a person. What is actually right here? The truth feels broken into two sharp pieces, and I am holding both, cutting my hands on the edges.

—Mina

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