I am in a dilemma because I no longer know if I am the biological father of my five-year-old daughter. I have not been able to tell my family about what is happening because I am still trying to figure things out. Part of me feels I should wait until I know the truth before informing them. If I raise the alarm and later discover that my suspicions are wrong, I do not know how I will handle the situation.

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Our relationship was only a year old when my girlfriend called to tell me that I should prepare myself because I was going to be a father. “But I am not going to have it,” she said.

I remember begging her not to terminate the pregnancy. I even told her that if she decided to keep the baby, I would take very good care of her, and she would never regret her decision.

She had her fears, and I listened to them. I also explained my side of things and tried to convince her to see things from my perspective.

It took a while, but we eventually came to an agreement. We both agreed to welcome this new addition to our lives, and I took responsibility for providing for our little family.

We had a girl. A very beautiful girl.

Out of nowhere, my girlfriend started accusing me of cheating on her. I went through a lot because of these accusations. I have never cheated on her, and I have never given her any reason to believe that I was seeing another woman.

Because of her, I cannot receive calls from other women in her presence. She cannot stand seeing me standing anywhere with another woman, even when there is nothing going on between us.

Besides, I do not have friends or a best friend outside my siblings. Yet, I would find myself on the phone with my girlfriend, pleading and begging her to believe me. Imagine being accused of something without the person having any evidence or proof, yet you still have to defend yourself.

I am a very peaceful person, and I did not want our daughter to be raised in a single-parent home. So, I stay quiet and turn a blind eye to it all. I also know my mother. She will never allow me to marry another woman apart from my girlfriend. My girlfriend knows this.

The accusations continued until our little girl turned two. Even though I am not financially stable, my girlfriend and daughter have always come first. I do my best to make sure they are taken care of, regardless of my own financial struggles.

We do not live together. During one of my visits, I asked my girlfriend for her phone so I could get some contacts because I had lost my phone. Ever since we started dating about six years ago, I have never touched her phone to go through anything. That day, I decided to scroll through it.

There are four other men she is talking to. She has sent nude pictures to some of them, and they were exchanging explicit messages with each other. It is not as though we had broken up along the way and were simply co-parenting. We were still actively dating at the time.

I did not say anything. I simply returned the phone to her.

I have started questioning whether the little girl I have been raising is really mine. I can no longer ignore the possibility that I may not be her biological father.

I think what hurts me the most is learning that she has not been faithful all this while.

Our daughter attends a very expensive school, and I am investing so much in her life. I am doing everything I can to ensure she has the very best that life has to offer. I carry the guilt of wanting to make sure that whatever her mother did not have, she will have by all means.

She had surgery when she was about nine months old. I do not know what happened to her because my girlfriend has never told me. I simply swept it under the rug to maintain peace in the relationship.

Since I held her in my hands, I have been a present father to her, and I have done everything I could to give her a good life. The thought that she might not be my biological daughter is difficult to deal with.

I have not told my mother or any of my siblings about what I discovered. I know they will be very disappointed in my girlfriend if they find out what has been happening.

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For now, I am keeping everything to myself because I do not know what to do next. I want to know the truth, but I am also afraid of what that truth might mean for me and the little girl I have come to love so much.

What should I do in this situation?

— Nathaniel
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