I am looking for a powerful traditionalist to deal with a man for me. That is the only way I can sleep with two of my eyes closed and my heart beating at its normal pace. If not, then something will happen to me. All I want is for him to find himself back in Ghana. He wouldn’t even know how he got here. All that will hit him is the heat waves and the smell of kosua ne meko in front of the airport.

I was in Ghana, and he was in the USA when we started dating. It was Facebook that brought us together. I didn’t expect it to become anything until we started talking. He was dreamy and seemed right in every way. He was handsome too, but what drew me to him most was how effortlessly we connected. Some days, we talked about our feelings. Other days, we discussed the economy, life, work, and everything happening around us.

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The first time I asked him for money was when I needed just GH₵500 to top up the GH₵2,500 I had to purchase a new phone. This was after a year of being together, so imagine the embarrassment I felt when he came up with an excuse. He said that he was low on cash and things were tight everywhere, so he couldn’t give me the money.

It was a lie. This was a man who lived in the States, earned in dollars, and even had a business going on here in Ghana. How could he be broke? How could he not lend me just GH₵500? How?

But he said he didn’t have it, so I let it go. I got the money from somewhere else and got the phone.

One of the problems with Jonah was that every small misunderstanding, like why he didn’t call earlier or why he was talking to someone when we were on a call, would make him call for a breakup. I would cry and call him to beg until he forgave me and we went back to normal.

One day, he laid down rules he wanted me to follow for our relationship to thrive. He said, “You can’t be online after 10 pm. Also, you should not go out after 6 pm.”

He made rules about what I was supposed to wear and what I wasn’t supposed to wear. I wasn’t allowed to wear biker shorts. He said they weren’t demure and that I should cover myself up. He presented the rules from a place of love, and it made me think, “Oh, such a man only wants the best for me.” He was moulding me into the woman he wanted, so I went along with it.

These same rules caused a fight between us because of the kind of dresses he was expecting me to wear. They were out of my budget, but he wouldn’t send me money to buy them.

We didn’t talk for close to a whole year until one day he messaged me that he was in Ghana and that he missed me. He wanted us to revive the fire that was fading between the two of us. He came to Ghana early this year.

I was elated too. Maybe it was the feeling that I was finally going to see him for the first time. So he planned it all and asked me to present myself. We went to a hotel, and we enjoyed every bit of the time we had there, even the sex.

I was a virgin when I went there and returned deflowered. I continually kept giving him sex until he left the country because he promised me that he was going to marry me before the Kingdom of God comes and that he was putting things into perspective.

Since he left the country, he went ghost mode on me, playing hide-and-seek with me. I was genuinely scared, thinking the worst had happened. But when I did my investigation, it turned out I was just one of the girls who fell for his scam.

Jonah has a girlfriend of five good years.

All these years, I was just a side chick. All these years, when I turned down proposals from men, when I was bragging about him.

How can he be this wicked? How can someone waste three years of your life and take something so valuable from you?

I don’t think I deserve this. Only God knows how much I trusted this guy to allow him to sleep with me. Now I feel like I wasted all these years and gave my virginity to a wicked man.

I am looking for a spiritual man to deal with him. I will never forgive him.

On the days when he is not hiding from me, he calls and gets angry that I am online because, according to his rules, I shouldn’t be online at the time he was calling me.

Hmm. He has audacity; that one I give him.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

By the time I am done with him, he won’t know when his life took a circle. Even his relationship with the girl he may lose. I have her number. I could just end it with a call. For me to be at peace, I want him to compensate me with money. If not, everything will come to an end. What can I do to be at peace, please?

—HELENA

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