My fiancé has this friend called Isaac. The two men are quite close. Because of this I easily became friends with Isaac’s wife, Betty. We were always hanging out together, the four of us. We were quite protective of each other too. Ours was the kind of bond shared by family.
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Now, Isaac travels a lot for work. A few months ago, he was away on another one of his trips when he called me to check up on Betty and the kids for him. “I have called all her numbers but I can’t reach her. Can you go to our place and see if she is there? I just need to know that she is fine.”
I also called Betty when I was on my way but couldn’t reach her. Even when I got to their house, I hadn’t heard from her. I pushed the gate and it opened easily. I concluded then that she was at home.
I started shouting, “BETTY! BETTY! BETTY,” as I entered the house. Lord knows what I would have seen if I hadn’t announced my presence in the house.
Even after all the noise I made, she couldn’t hide the man properly. She ran out of the bedroom to meet me in the living room but it was too late. I already saw the bare-chested man in boxer shorts she was entertaining in her matrimonial bed.
“Please, you can’t tell anyone what you saw here. It will ruin my life,” she begged.
I felt it wasn’t my place to get into her marriage in the first place. So I gave her my word that I would keep quiet about what I saw. However, I advised her to change her ways.
“If for some reason you are unhappy in your marriage, then leave. If you want to stay then don’t cheat. It’s not cool.”
She promised me she would stop seeing the guy and I did my best not to judge her.
A few months down the line, Isaac returned from one of his trips unexpectedly to meet Betty’s absence. She left their two children at home and went off to God knows where.
From what I was told, Isaac didn’t call her. Rather, he waited for her to get home. It was past 2:00 AM when she finally did. When he asked her where she went, my name came up. “You can ask Enyonam. I was at the wake-keeping with her,” she said in her defence.
The truth is, I was at a cousin’s funeral. My fiancé and Isaac knew of this. Betty had even promised to be present for me.
A day before I would leave for my family’s home, Betty called me. She said, “I can’t come there on Friday and sleep over because of the children. So I will be at the funeral on Saturday, is that okay?” The place is not far from where we lived so I told her it was fine.
I was at the wake, putting things in order for the funeral when I got a call from Isaac. Looking at the time, I guessed something was up with Betty. Without being told, I knew I would have to lie for her if I answered the call.
Truly, when I picked up the call, Isaac demanded to know if indeed, Betty was with me. “Yes, she was here throughout the night, helping me with some chores. I just asked her to return home to be with the children. Sorry if it caused any problems between you two.”
As soon as I explained, he calmed down and said it was alright.
When I met Betty in person, I asked her, “You promised me you would stop seeing that man so why was I covering up for you the other night? Where did you go?”
She said that the affair had dragged on longer than necessary. “It was supposed to be a one-night stand,” she confessed, “I was lonely because Isaac is always out of town. I just wanted to scratch an itch you know. I didn’t mean for it to get this far but it’s been two years now, and I still call him to take care of my needs when my husband is away on business trips.”
At the end of the conversation, she admitted that while she was still in love with her husband, she had also fallen in love with her lover. “I can’t choose one over the other,” she said, “they both make me happy.”
Well, if she said she was happy then how was it my place to rain on her parade? I decided to leave her alone and focus on my relationship. Nonetheless, I gave her some tips on how to navigate her affairs without getting caught.
“Whatever you do, don’t bring another man into your matrimonial home. It’s not cool.”
“Also. Make sure you use protection. You don’t know what the other man is doing out there.”
She nodded and said, “I hear you. I will be careful.”
Last month, I was at work when Isaac called me. I was very busy with work so I couldn’t pick up. When I checked my phone, I saw that he had called eight times. Betty’s calls also flooded my phone. It was a sure sign of trouble but the moment I saw my fiance’s call, I became anxious. I was still busy but I excused myself and called him back.
As soon as I said “Hello babe,” he responded, “How long have you and Betty been playing this game?”
I was stunned. First, I didn’t know what game Betty was caught playing. Secondly, if Betty is the one playing games, why am I getting called out for it? I opened my mouth to speak but ended up fumbling instead. Before I could get a word out, my fiancé hung up on me.
As for Issac, I didn’t have the guts to call him. It was Betty I called next. She told me, “My husband got hold of my phone and read our chats. So he knows everything.”
Isaac finding out about her affair still didn’t explain to me why I was in trouble. Then I went home after work and learned the truth when my fiancé told me to my face that I was a traitor. “I can’t believe you helped Betty cheat on her husband. How can I marry a woman of your calibre?”
I tried to explain my side of the story but my man was too angry to hear anything I had to say. It turned out that Betty was caught pants down in a hotel with a different man from the one I caught her with.
In a desperate attempt to save her skin, she confessed everything to her husband. She talked about all the men she had been with and even gave her phone to him as proof that she was telling the truth. She then went on to tell him that I was her coach on how to get away with cheating. Some of our chats were about the man I caught her with and how she should be careful. So it helped make her case.
My fiancé and I have bought almost all the items on the marriage list. When it comes to the white wedding too, we are almost done buying everything we need for the ceremony. Now my fiancé has broken things off because of Betty and her cheating ways.
As my relationship and incoming marriage have been crushed, she has managed to save herself. She involved her family, and pastor and salvaged her marriage. Of course, this was after a messy estrangement, and her husband had DNA tests done on the children. After all the back and forth, her rich and influential family played a huge role in reconciling them.
They are back together but somehow I am still the villain in their eyes. My fiancé said I should sell the stuff we bought for the marriage and keep the money. I understand that his mind is made up. I have accepted my fate even. But the thing is, I don’t want to walk away leaving the impression these two men have of me behind.
I want my ex-fiance and Isaac to know the entire truth, that I only accidentally stumbled upon the affair and kept it quiet. I need them to know that I did not coach Betty on how to cheat. I just didn’t want her to keep using me to cover her tracks, that’s why I told her to be careful.
I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It
I am not going to lie, I am hurt that Betty threw me under the bus in an attempt to save her marriage. See how it has cost me my relationship. Would it have been better if I had ratted her out to her husband when I caught her the first time? Whatever happened to us girls sticking together?
Anyway, since she decided not to protect me the way I protected her, I want her to pay. She was the one who allowed her lust to put her in a mess yet I am the one who lost everything. What can I do to make her feel my pain? I wish I could make her lose something as precious as what I lost.
—Enyonam
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Well….the harm has already been done. There’s no way any of them will listen to you, let alone believe you. Since you decided to keep quite, just remain quite. We are all responsible for the decisions we make. This right here, is the consequence of your decision.
Your mistake was not telling your fiancé about it to maintain her dignity….look what she did yours when she got the chance.
Life is a learning curve.
You can however involve someone your fiancé will listen to, and see how it goes.
All the best
I would suggest you let the universe take care of her. This experience is a real lesson to be mindful of the human nature. Moving forward, focus on forgiving yourself for allowing Betty make you look bad in this manner. You didn’t indicate whether or not Betty had reached out to you yet.
Develop yourself, if you and your man are meant to be together; you two would be. If your husband-to-be isn’t ready to listen to you to the extent of asking that you sell off the items, as painful as it is stay focused.
God is with you. Update us on any new developments.
Life is a lesson. You are guilty too because of what you told her instead of telling her to stop or reporting her to her husband or your guy you decided to keep quiet and went as far as coaching her. Anyways you can bring in someone your guy respects to speak on your behalf.
When you choose wrong over right then be ready to bear the consequences when the truth is finally revealed. And remember that nothing is hidden under the sun; if the wind does not reveal it, then the rains will or the earth will throw it forth.
Don’t send anyone to your ex-fiance to plead for you. You did nothing wrong to apologize for. You had good intentions. If your guy will not come back, maintain your dignity and let him be. As for Betty she can’t change her character so easily, and she will be caught again and she’ll get what is coming to her. Look ahead as a strong, proud woman.
Next time do not cover up for married ashawo woman……u see dat she drag u in her mud???? U should have even told ur man de day u saw them in her house
Bear the consequences of your choice. You backed up willingly falsehood and nobody is responsible but only you. Learn and move one. The cost is high but no man can take the risk of marrying a teaching advisor. Please forgive yourself and move on. That lady did not repent, she will go back again on her ways then if you remove your hand now, you will later hear again.
Your heart was pure but your actions actually did something different. Just keep be calm and keep faith. What you wish for is still possible eventually.
Sorry your actions were wrong, but understandable. From the moment that you caught her, you were already in an impossible situation. If you had told Isaac, you would have been branded as a homewrecker. The only thing is that you shouldn’t have lied for her when she used you as an alibi without asking you first.
The truth is that Betty is a horrible cheating lying and extremely selfish person. There was no need for her to have thrown you under the bus. She could have deleted your chats from her phone, she could have told them what really happened between the two of you. Whatever you want to do to her, do. Just let her know that her evil deeds won’t go unpunished
What a shamelessness and disrespected to your’s and a friend
But you can send Isaac a VN explaining your own side of the story. And ask him honestly, whether he has never helped a friend cover up his cheating before.
Ask him if he had been the one to catch your fiance cheating on you, would he have immediately told you about it, or would he have advised him to stop while trying to help him preserve his relationship.
Guys help their guys to cheat all the time, not necessarily because they agree with the cheating, but because of the bro code. If you and Betty had been the guys, your fiance would never have broken up with you. You’re just the victim of a double standard.
The first thing you should have done was to tell your boyfriend about the whole thing when she lied about the wake keeping but you refused.
Now, find time to get in touch with Isaac and let him know the actual truth.
After talking to him, you can now move on.
O yee
But you actually coached and encouraged her on where and how to continue cheating on her husband. Read also on how you lied to her husband about her whereabout. You should have completely washed your hands off her affairs or exposed her. As it happened, you can’t be innocent in this case.
I swear i’m happy for your harvest. Kudos to your bf, how could someone like you not be a worse partner than that ur friend.
NEXT, PLS
Mine o mine! You thought you were protecting her marriage but you ended up being the victim. Sorry but time to move on with your life. She had pushed you under the bus to save her marriage and a payback might do little to salvage your relationship. So instead of focusing on how to pay her back, allow kama to do it for you. Redirect your attention to building yourself and your image. If you can still reach out to your fiancé, reach out to him and let your side of the story be known to him. Let him know you are not doing so for the two of you to get back together but that, you just want him to know your side of the story. After that, move on with your life and never look back