I was only thirteen when my father tried to marry me off. My aunt had convinced him that there was no need to educate a girlchild, and he believed her. But for the timely intervention of my teachers and headmasters, they would have succeeded with the marriage. They threatened to take legal action against my father. That was what kept me in school.
I was brilliant in school, so they knew I had potential. But at home, I had to fend for myself. I was caring for my two younger siblings and, strangely enough, even my father. It was not because he was unwell. He just refused to take responsibility for anything. I worked on the farm with him. We would go to the farm and I would do all the work. When it’s time for harvesting I would be the one to do it too. But the moment I brought the crops home he would tell me not to touch his food.
I didn’t argue. I simply went to other people’s farms and worked for them to earn enough to eat. It wasn’t easy. I was young, but my body had matured. I had the curves of a woman. Men often lusted after my body. They tried to use, “I will help you out of your situation” to take advantage of me but I never fell for it. I had made up my mind I would rather starve than give myself away to men for food or favours.
By the time I finished junior high school, I had already learned how to survive on my own. People often asked how I managed to get into senior high school. They have no idea what it took; the sacrifices and the determination.
When I got to senior high, I started traveling to Accra to work during school breaks. My mother was there, and I helped her sell goods in the market. I worked tirelessly, but when it was time to return to school, she would give me almost nothing. “Stop being stubborn and find yourself a boyfriend,” she would say. She even tried to set me up with men, but I ignored her.
On the day before my final exams, she told me to get a job before leaving school. God being so good, I got a job as a housemaid after I finished my final paper. I went ahead to work as a security guard and did other jobs here and there. None of the jobs paid well. As a security guard, I earned two hundred cedis a month, and even that wasn’t mine to keep. By the time my mum and my dad take their share, I would be left with nothing.
Living with my mother wasn’t easy. She constantly reminded me that girls my age lived with their boyfriends. By the time I was 19, she started pushing me out of her house. One night, after a heated argument, she told me not to sleep in her room. I didn’t have anywhere to go. The streets weren’t safe either. In my desperation, I called a male friend who had shown interest in me.
I thought I could trust him. That night, I learned I was wrong. He forced himself on me and took something I had fought so hard to protect, my virginity. When he finished he accused me of stealing his money and drove me out. His name is George. May God deal with him in His own time.
Even after that, I didn’t give up. I found a way to continue my education while still caring for my siblings. Eventually, I left my mother’s house and rented a place of my own. I struggled to raise the money but I didn’t have a choice. My mother moved far away from my workplace. That was what forced my hand to get my own place.
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I tried to help her. I set up businesses for her several times but she always runs them to the ground. I even went for a salary advance to set up a business for her but I don’t know what she used the money for. That one too collapsed. So I also got tired of helping her. After everything she even went behind my back and told my siblings that I never did anything for her.
When I reached my breaking point, I stopped giving in to her demands. At first, she tried to pressure me, but when she saw I wouldn’t budge, she eventually stopped.
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Now, I’ve completed my national service and I am home, looking for a job. I still have responsibilities so I am trusting God to come through for me on the job very soon.
I am sharing my story to thank God for how far he has brought me. Life hasn’t been easy, but it has made me strong. As I look back on everything I’ve been through, I know that the struggles have shaped me into the person I am today.
I’m still standing, and that’s something no one can take away from me.
— Sylvia
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