I’m a mother and a divorcee. After separating from my husband, I decided to focus on myself and my children. When I finally got back into the dating scene, I didn’t take men seriously. I just wanted to play games and have fun.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Over the years, I told myself, “I am not giving my heart to a man again. I will date them but no feelings involved. I just want to use them to cure boredom.”

I stuck to this while I raised my kids, until one day when I met Solomon. We met at a groove. We chatted, connected, and exchanged contacts.

I don’t know what it was but I couldn’t stop thinking about him until I heard from him about a week later. He called me and asked me out. Our first date went so well that we started a relationship right from there.

In the beginning, he told me he has a girlfriend who is married. I didn’t mind at first because I was sure I wouldn’t be serious with him. I also felt his relationship with the married woman was something casual.

As in most relationships, we were great in the beginning. It was when he felt comfortable that he started showing me his true colours. Solomon is arrogant and self-centred. He doesn’t care how much he hurts me. He behaves horribly and just moves on like nothing happened.

On his good days, he would promise to take me out or buy me something when he got paid, but the moment he gets his salary, he disappears. He would be gone for an entire weekend and show up on Monday broke and hungry. He would ask, “Do you have anything for me to eat? Also, I need money for transportation to work.”

I never had the heart to turn him away or refuse him my help. So every time, I helped him.

Despite his inconsistent behaviour, I’ve fallen head over heels for him. I tried not to but I couldn’t stop myself. I think about him all the time. I offer him money, food, anything, just to make him happy.

I do all this but I’m not the one he wants. It’s the married woman he is serious about. They talk on the phone for hours while I’m right there. It hurts but he doesn’t care how I feel.

He goes as far as posting her on social media, and talking about how much he loves her. Meanwhile, he has never done some for me. When he talks to her about his future, it involves her. And I sit down and wish I was the one he was planning his future with.

My sister has warned me countless times to stay away from him. She says he’s just using me because he knows I love him too much. I know she is right but the truth is, I don’t even care. I would rather be used by him and share him than not have him at all. The thought of losing him alone is enough to break my heart.

Am I crazy for holding on to hope that one day, the married woman would leave the scene and it’ll be just me and him? Is it too far-fetched that we can have the kind of peaceful, and loving relationship I dream of? I love him so much that it doesn’t seem normal.

I feel like I’m losing my mind. I find myself stalking his social media, trying to find ways to contact the other woman just to ruin things between them, so that I keep him to myself. Is this what love does to everyone? God, I need help.

—Suki

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB