My boyfriend was struggling when I met him. His mother wasn’t working, and his father, who had been the breadwinner, had run away from home. We met at the university. He was very different from the other boys who were approaching me. There was just something about him that drew me in.
Then, at one point, he had to drop out of school so he could work and help provide for his family. There was no other choice. It was around that time that I started sharing my allowance with him. It wasn’t much, but it helped.
He was my only real friend in school. Whenever I struggled with my studies, I ran to him, and he would patiently help me understand my courses.
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Whenever I had problems with my roommates, he was the one who gave me a shoulder to cry on. He became my safe place, and before I knew it, my whole life revolved around him.
Four years later, I have completed school. I now live with a family member. I no longer receive an allowance from my parents, and I am trying my hand at business while doing my best to build a life for myself. As for him, he now lives in a slightly more comfortable place, but food and other basic necessities are still not easy for him to afford.
I thought he understood that I was doing the best I could and that I was still on his side, but lately, I have become the problem.
You are probably wondering how I stayed with a broke man for five years. The truth is, I loved him. I still do. But now it feels like he resents me.
He has never come out to say it, but I feel it in the way he treats me. He has become disrespectful, and sometimes I even feel like he sees me as bad luck. It feels as though I am the last person he wants to see.
He can spend three weeks treating me like I don’t matter, then suddenly come back with gifts and apologies. He always says life is hard on him, that he wants to be alone, and that I should understand.
I have tried to understand because I know his struggles. I know where he has come from. But I also want to be included. I want him to let me stand beside him. I want us to face life together, understand each other, and grow together because, honestly, I don’t even know how to start over anymore. Everything I have built emotionally is around this man.
Recently, he has been wishing me well and telling me to stay away from him. I have asked people close to him to speak to him, but he refuses to listen to anyone. I feel like I have been left in the middle of nowhere.
What hurts the most is that I just need closure.
Even if it is a lie, tell me I did something wrong. If there is another woman, tell me. Just give me something I can hold on to because this silence is destroying me.
He is my first man and the only man I have ever loved. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing I say gets through to him. I don’t understand this kind of depression because the man I fell in love with is no longer the man I know today.
What makes this even harder is that he doesn’t even know I am pregnant.
I have gone back and forth about telling him, but how do you tell someone who keeps pushing you away? How do you share news like this with someone who acts as though you no longer exist?
I don’t want to make any bad decisions. The more I pray and draw closer to God, the more I feel there is still hope. Yet no matter what I send him in a text, he never responds the way I expect. It is as though I no longer exist to him.
I just want answers. I just want closure.
I don’t even know if I should keep this child when I have no support. Every single day, I ask myself where I went wrong. Was loving him through his hardest years a mistake? Is this really how good women end up suffering?
I am the most confused 28-year-old on earth right now. I don’t even go to work anymore because I can barely function. My manager noticed I was falling apart and asked me to go home.
I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone
I stood by him when life was at its hardest. Now that I need him the most, he has disappeared without giving me a reason.
That is the part I cannot understand.
—Bertha
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Dear Bertha, closure doesn’t necessarily mean he will give you a litany of reasons he doesn’t want you again. He says “stay away from me” and you do just that!
What else do you need? Carry what is left of your dignity and move on. It’s hard but try. One day when you are happily married, you will look back and laugh at yourself for holding on to a man who doesn’t love you.
Send his number to me on [email protected] and will talk to him on your behalf.
I can guarantee you this.
I’ve been in this situation before, I rejected my real lady who loved me for whom I was, but I didn’t see it until I lost her.
Trust me, I can help you work o his emotions currently.
Beware of scammers. They come in different forms and guises!
Everyone wants their lives ones close, so once someone tells you to give him or her space that means there is someone else in the picture but often they won’t tell you because they know you have done so much for them and that you don’t deserve what they are putting you through. Brace yourself and live. With or without a man you shouldn’t abort, work hard and take care of yourself and your baby.