I am twenty nine years old, a nurse who just graduated. I am finally back home with my family and childhood friends after many years of studying away. One of those friends is a man I have known since I was young. We grew up together. We have talked for months, catching up on life, laughing, sharing stories the way old friends do.

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Then one day it clicked.

This man has actually been flirting with me for the longest time, and I did not even notice. I was just answering normally, thinking it was our usual friendship flow. Until he finally said it plainly. He told me he loves me. He told me he would do anything to be with me.

And me too, with all the small small talking we have been doing, I realised I have fallen for him. It was slow, but it happened.

But here is the problem.

I do not know if I can date him. He is my childhood friend. Practically my best friend growing up. It feels like crossing a line I never imagined crossing.

To make things more complicated, there is a girl in the area who has a crush on him. A serious crush. And she has always told me I am her friend. She trusts me. She confides in me. She likes him openly. And I know it.

Meanwhile, I am here secretly flirting with the same guy.

That is not even the main part.

How do I tell her that me and her crush are far gone. That it has gone far? Because it has. We have gone to the bedroom a couple of times. And let me not lie, the man is good. Sometimes we even carry the matter into his car. We have done things.

He wants to upgrade what we have. He wants something more, something serious. And honestly, we already act like lovers. We talk like lovers, we touch like lovers, we care like lovers.

But every time the thing finishes, I feel somehow. I feel guilty. I feel like I am betraying someone who calls me friend.

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Now I am stuck with one big question.

How do I tell my female friend, the one who has a crush on him, that I am already involved with him. That I am already halfway into a relationship with the man she has been dreaming about.

I do not know what to do.

I do not even know where to start.

—Vida

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