The only reason I stayed in a relationship with Bright was because he was good in bed. He didn’t give me money, the chemistry wasn’t that good, he didn’t have a job I was proud of, my friends hated him because they compared him to my ex. I was not so much into him but I didn’t leave him because anytime we had the chance to be intimate, he knew the buttons to press, the switch to turn on and his fingers could reach up and touch the highest spot of my being.

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I doubted his love for me but I told myself I wouldn’t leave him because he was useful in the bedroom. Because I didn’t want to lose him, I also did the bare minimum just to keep him glued to me. When he needed money and he asked me, I gave it to him. He would tell me he would pay but wouldn’t pay until he needed more money, then he would pay the previous debt and ask for a much bigger loan.

I was tolerating him because I knew he could scratch my itch the way no man on earth could. But as time went on, I realized I was looking at him through the wrong spectacle. He didn’t have it all but he was a man trying to make it in life. He would sell this and that just because he needed the money. No job was below him as long as it would bring him income.

On my birthday, he used my birth date to stake a lottery, something he had never done before. I asked why he had to waste the money he didn’t have on lottery and he told me, “You’ve been a lucky woman since you came into my life. Maybe your birthdate will prove to be my lucky charm.”

He didn’t win. I laughed at him. He told me one day he would be rich just to shame me.

On his birthday, I paid for a hotel out of town for a weekend and carried him there. He called it a beautiful birthday surprise but honestly, I wasn’t doing it for him. I was doing it for myself. It meant I could have him to myself all weekend without interference. In return, he would get to sleep well, eat good food and say it was a good birthday gift.

The first night was massive. I was panting for breath but he kept going and going I unconsciously blurted my secret out to his hearing, “You see why I can’t leave you? Who will do this to me if I let you go?”

It looked like saying this gave him demonic strength to keep digging deeper and deeper to discover oil in me. After that marathon, I felt ashamed of myself. While he lay sleeping, I said in my head, “Why don’t I make him the man I want him to be so I can keep him to myself forever.”

I’d known him for close to a year but I’d never sensed he could harm my emotions if I gave it away. He was always busy looking for where his life could be better. He would give his phone to me without a nanosecond of hesitation because he had nothing to hide. When he woke up, I asked him, “What do you need right now that will make you feel like a man?” He answered, “A job that will pay well. I will get the money and start my side hustle.”

I talked to my mother. That woman had all the numbers of influential people on her phone. I asked her to help him get a job. She said, “I’m afraid the way you’re carrying this guy on your head. If you did half of what you’re doing for him for Jude, you two would have been married by now.”

Jude is my ex. The only guy I ever introduced to my parents. He had the face of an angel but was the most deceitful person on earth. He cheated, gaslighted and made me feel bad about myself. My Bright wasn’t that kind of man. I told my mom, “Bright is different. I’ve held myself back from him because of what Jude did to me but I feel if I help him, he would be a better man for me.”

My mom didn’t agree with me but she agreed to help. Four months later, Bright had the job he had been dreaming of.

I told myself I was going to assess him and compare who he was to who he had become and see the difference. Months later, it looked like this new job brought the real him out. He spoke with confidence and walked with his heels not touching the ground. He made big plans for us and asked, “What do you need me to get you this weekend?”

When he was renting a new place, he took me along so I could select the place for us. When I couldn’t go with him, he sent me a photo of the kitchen and asked, “It’s a cool place but do you like the kitchen?”

He made me part of his world, something I didn’t see when he had nothing. Most importantly, I was checking to see if his performance would reduce now that he had a job to keep him busy. Word out there was that busy men don’t have the time to be on top forever but not my Bright. His fingers could still reach up and touch the skies of my feelings. I was still asking what I could do in this world without him.

A year after getting his new job, he asked me to marry him. When I told my mom she said, “Oh, he stayed?”

I understand my mom and her angles. My dad did her bad so in her worldview, every man is my dad. Even after we got married, she asked me to peel my eyes and watch his every step because “Men are sneaky and are capable of bad deeds.”

We are on our fourth year and not a single thing about him is changed. I’m the one changing. After our first child, I don’t get those crazy moods I had when we were dating. I feel overwhelmed whenever he goes on for too long. Sometimes I beg him to stop while my legs are shaking. Meanwhile I’ve been told that marriage destroys intimacy. People say after marriage, intimacy level drops to the lowest but not with my Bright. His fingers still reach up and touch the skies. I still say, “You see why I can’t leave you…”

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I feel proud of the man he has become but most importantly, I tell myself, “See what I would have missed if he wasn’t good in bed.”

I know what brought us this far. It’s not the kind of man he was or his faithfulness or even the way he loved me. All these were discovered later in life. The only reason I gave him chance time after time was because he was just awesome with the way he strummed the strings of my body. He has the keys that open the fountains planted in me. Crazy, right?

—Franka

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