When Robert proposed that we start a relationship, I was very sceptical about it. It wasn’t about something he did per se, it was just that my bad experiences with men in the past had made the notion of falling in love with yet another man unexciting. I remember vividly what I told him over the phone. I clearly stated, “Bob, if I give you a chance and you hurt me I will never forgive you.” What he said in response was, “Cath, you know me. You know that I am not like other men. Trust that I will treat you right.” And yes, I believed I knew him. He was an embodiment of an angel. Everything he did was always right.

I must admit that I didn’t love him from the onset, but I eventually fell deeply in love with him. He wasn’t the kind of man I would typically go for, but love has a way of changing protocols. I remember telling him, “Bob, I can’t wait for our first fight because you are too good to be true. I want to see how you act when you are angry. That is the only way I will know that you are real.” To my surprise, when I managed to provoke his anger he didn’t react violently. He just kept quiet and ignored me. That made me realize that Robert was indeed from a different breed of men.

I had a weird way of showing my love for him but God knows I loved him from the deepest part of my heart. Our mutual friend, Aba, who knew him better than I did kept telling me; “Robert is only pretending about his feelings for you. Don’t believe everything he does.” I listened to her with keen interest but I thought, “Who is this girl to tell me who my boyfriend is? If anyone should know the kind of man he is then it should be me, the woman he is dating. I know she means well but it’s not her place to decide whether or not Bob is good enough for me.”

Robert was such a hardworking guy that when he told me not to call him after 9:00 PM I didn’t question him. I was convinced he went to sleep early so he could wake up early and go to work. So even in times of emergency, I never called him after 9:00 PM, lest I disturb his sleep. Then one day Aba called me. She was agitated, “Cathie, have you heard the news about Robert?” “What now Aba? What did my boyfriend do this time?” I yelled at her. She tried to calm me, “My dear relax. I just heard that Robert has set a date for his wedding, and I am wondering if he told you about it.” I was so angry that day, “Aba, repeat what you just said to yourself and think if it makes sense. How can Bob set his wedding date when we’ve not started planning our wedding yet? Who is he going to marry if not me? I know you don’t like him for me but don’t you think you are going too far with your schemes to break us up? I love him, and we are together so stop it.” That was the last time my friend ever spoke about him.

We were together one day when Bob told me that he was going on a business trip. I was okay with it but something felt off when I didn’t see him for a whole two weeks before he left for the trip. It was always, “Babe, I want to see you too but I am trying to get some documents together for my trip. I will try and see you before I leave, I promise.” But I never saw him until he left. It was when he arrived on the trip that he called to tell me that he was gone. That still didn’t cause me to be alarmed. It was when I couldn’t get hold of him that I became worried. For two weeks, he was too busy with meetings to talk to me. I complained but he assured me that everything was fine.

After a month, I still hadn’t had a decent conversation with him. My worry escalated and I started imagining the worst. I asked him, “Is everything okay? Have I wronged you in any way?” But he said, “Everything is okay, Cath. I am just busy with work.” I wanted to believe him but I just couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong. So I went online and stalked all his accounts but I didn’t find anything suspicious. When I was done, his friend’s Instagram account popped up on my feed, and I stalked him too. That was when I saw Robert’s wedding photos. It felt like a slap in the face. This friend of his often called me “Wifey”. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He got married around the time he claimed he was so busy preparing for his trip. And it turned out the trip was actually his honeymoon. I called his friend immediately, “Is Bob truly married? Or is this a joke?” He replied, “I don’t have anything to do with any of this. If you have problems, take it up with Robert.”

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I thought these things only happened in Nigerian movies until I called him while I lay on the floor in my room crying. I’m not the type to show my emotions to people but that day I couldn’t hold back my tears. I cried so much my mother couldn’t help but cry too. While I was hurting, Bob told me; “Shut up Cath! You are talking too much. And I don’t want you texting me anymore.” I couldn’t believe that someone who broke my heart into a million pieces would say that to me. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I couldn’t even go to work. Within two days, I lost weight drastically. While I was going through this, my only question was; “Why? Why did he do this to me? What did I ever do to him for him to hurt me like this?”

When he got in touch with his humanity he called me. He sounded remorseful. He asked what I wanted for compensation. I felt insulted. I told him; “Because you broke my heart, you think your money can buy me a new one? Do you see anyone selling hearts on the market? Keep your money.” And then I wished him well in his marriage, and all his endeavours.

It’s been three years since it happened and I am with someone new now. This new guy is going the extra mile to prove his love for me, but I make him suffer for Robert’s sins. I know that it’s because I am not fully healed. Hopefully, someday I will get better, and I will treat my boyfriend better too.

— Catherine

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