From the way he approached me, I knew he came with an agenda. I looked at him very well and checked his finger to see if he was already committed to someone else. I didn’t see any evidence of that nature so I gave him attention. Weeks later when the conversation started going toward “Would you be my girlfriend” I asked him, “Are you married?”
There’s a way someone says something and you immediately know he’s lying and there’s a way someone says something and backs it with his demeanour, you’ll believe him instantly. This guy said he wasn’t married and from the way he said it and acted afterwards, I believed him. He said, “Do you think I would be here wasting my time If I were married? What else do I need in another woman that I can’t find in my wife?”
I nodded my head and believed in my heart that he was telling the truth. Days afterwards, he proposed and I asked him to give me some time to think about it.
You love the person but you’ll still want to think about it. Men don’t understand why we do that but I’ve come to believe that we use that thinking-about-it period to ask ourselves questions and also talk to people about it and see the way forward.
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I spoke to my squad. Suzzy and Asantewa. They cheered for me because I’d been single for three years. Suzzy asked, “I hope he’s nice ooo. You didn’t wait for this long only to fall for the beast.” I took my phone out and proudly showed them his picture, “Does this look like a beast to you?”
Suzzy took the phone from me and checked him out. She said, “Ne ho twa mom but do you think he’s single?” Asantewa was watching from behind. All of a sudden she said, “Wait, this man resembles someone I know.” She took the phone, looked at him and laughed. She murmured, “I can’t believe this!”
Asantewa mentioned his name and mentioned where he was working. I nodded. She said, “He’s married. I know his wife. I used to be in the same church with his wife but when they got married, his wife left our church.”
I was shaking. “Seriously? Asantewa, are you sure you’ve not mistaken him for someone else?”
She went to his wife’s social media and showed us their photos together. I started laughing. “Herrh, men! Wow! This one nearly used me for Shaolin soccer just like that.”
We agreed we were going to tell his wife. We also agreed I should say yes and waste his time and money before I tell him that I know he’s married.
Currently, I’m doing the second one with him—spending his money and wasting his time. He tried taking me to a hotel. I said no. I will only do it in his house. I’ve met his friends and they all call me wifey. He tried sleeping with me at one of his friend’s house but I declined. He nearly raped me. It’s getting serious so I’ve decided to shift to the next plan, that’s to inform his wife.
Did Marriages Last Longer In The Past Than Today?
My friends think it’s the best idea but I’m developing cold feet because I don’t want to be the reason a marriage is destroyed. I’m here to ask if I should go ahead and tell his wife or just let him know that I know he’s married and walk away.
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—Deloris
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*****
The latter is the best. Time will expose him to his wife.
Sissy this is the tym, do you know how many girls he’s out there trying to waste their time. Tell the wife. Which time again will expose him
Don’t tell his wife. Just move on, no need to be the saviour in this case.
You don’t know the kind of woman his wife is, some women can’t handle certain things if she collapses and dies after telling her, what will you gain from that? If his wife doesn’t know the man she’s married to, that’s her problem to solve and not yours.
Please focus on your search to finding love, it’s more important than being a CIA woman.
Good luck!
Deloris, this is quite a complex situation you’ve found yourself in, and it’s ripe for a dramatic twist. Let’s explore a creative response to your dilemma:
As you stand at this crossroads, Deloris, you find yourself teetering on the precipice of a decision that could change not only your life but the lives of those involved. You’ve discovered the truth about this seemingly perfect suitor, who, unbeknownst to him, has been caught in the web of deceit he so expertly spun.
You might be tempted to take the path of revealing the truth to his wife, and there’s an undeniable sense of justice in that. However, there’s another option, one that allows you to exercise your newfound power with a touch of poetic justice.
Rather than tearing a marriage asunder, you could choose to confront him privately, reminding him of your knowledge of his marital status. Tell him how close he came to pushing you into a situation that could have had far-reaching consequences for both him and you. Make it clear that you won’t be his pawn, nor will you let him use your time or your emotions as his plaything.
By confronting him directly, you not only protect his wife’s feelings but also maintain the moral high ground. You might discover that he has genuinely fallen for you and is willing to confront his own misdeeds. Or, perhaps, he’ll learn a valuable lesson about deception and honesty.
Remember, Deloris, it’s essential to maintain your integrity, for you are not just a player in this drama; you are the author of your own story. It’s up to you to write the ending that will let you walk away with your dignity intact, having exposed his lies without causing unnecessary harm.
-Atieno-
Deloris
Lemme be blatant
You should have chosen the latter when you guys opted for the 2 options
And latter, I mean not to tell his wife but him revealing your findings about his marriage rather than making him invest in you(waste his time and money )
Now, in as much as money is involved, some will go to whatever extent to reap for their monies worth.
The harm has already been caused and as Professor Atieno stated, approach this situation in a way with your dignity intact without causing any pain to any other party
Good luck!!!
Please don’t involve the wife in this situation.Just let him know you know the truth and just walk away from his life.Some men are very cunning and by that can easily convince the wife to make it seem like you are the bad person