It was my cousin who introduced me to my boyfriend. When we started out as friends, he was so loving, caring, and attentive. I am sure that is one of the reasons I fell for him. I still have real feelings for him. But here is where my confusion begins.

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Whenever he goes to visit his father and returns, his whole attitude toward me changes. He tells me his father does not approve of our relationship. But I have never even met the man, so I do not know what to believe. People say men can lie. Is this one of those lies? Is he part of some association of liars?

Even with this “my father does not like you” story, we are still dating. Our relationship is going strong, or so I thought, gidigba.

 

I even confided in my cousin’s husband about him, since they are friends. But the advice I got was a shock. He told me plainly to end things with my boyfriend and focus on other suitors. According to him, my boyfriend is seeing many other women. Lots of women. Including the security guard at their workplace. Now, I am not saying this because she is a guard or anything, but can he really stoop that low? Is his taste that low, or is his mission just to stick it anywhere?

I have not yet confronted my boyfriend with this information. I am waiting by the river. I want to hear him confess it himself, like he is confessing his sins. I want to hear him say that he is cheating on me with other women, including the guard at his workplace. Maybe it will not make sense to him, but I need to hear it from his own mouth.

I remember last year, there was a period when he avoided all my video calls. When he finally called back, he did not want to talk. He only wanted to chat by text. During one of those calls, I clearly heard a woman’s voice in the background. When I asked him about it, he brushed me off and said it was just his sister. But this woman, his so called sister, stayed with him for over a week.

When his friends visit, he often puts me on the phone to speak with them. I have always wondered what his intention is with that. Recently, when he went to visit his parents, his behavior changed completely, from sixty seven to zero. He became very busy, and at eleven at night, he was still on the phone with relatives. Who calls relatives at eleven p.m.? What family issue is so urgent it cannot be discussed during normal hours?

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

And now he claims his father does not want him to marry someone from my tribe. With everything happening, I am struggling to understand what is true.

Given all of this, I do not know how to move forward. Left or right? Go or no go? Should I finally confront him with all my concerns, or should I just consider ending this relationship for good? Please, I really need your help.

—Paulina

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