He says he likes women who already have a child. His last two exes were both single mothers. Even the last one had three children, which he says he didn’t mind. I also have a child. He’s only nine months old. I asked him to give me time and space to think through his proposal.

He comes around often after work. He would ask me to cook something for him, and I would do it. Sometimes he would stay here till midnight, even trying to spend the night, but I tell him we are not dating yet, so that wasn’t possible. Then he would drive away.

I asked him why he liked single mothers, and he couldn’t articulate any better answer apart from, “I feel they are settled, and they will be loyal.”

One thing I’ve noticed is that when he comes around, he doesn’t want to have anything to do with my son. Even if he crawls to him and holds him, he would pull away or ask me to come for my baby. He doesn’t come home holding any gift for my child. He would rather come, eat, and not do anything in return.

Since he proposed and I asked for time, there hasn’t been one moment he has come around with a gift, but he would come and ask what I cooked or even tell me what he would eat before he comes here.

I’m still considering him, but I feel his reasons are not genuine, especially the fact that he only goes for single mothers. Just yesterday, I asked him why those exes left, or why he left if he was the one who ended the relationship. He answered, “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to remember my pain.”

He didn’t say anything else, and it’s making me wonder what’s in it for him. Because if a man gets what he wants, he hardly leaves or allows the woman to leave. Or am I overthinking this?

He knows I’m considering his proposal, but he still does nothing to get me to like him. What could be the cause of this?

—Mavis 

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