I had a baby with Ricky before we got married, and I don’t regret it. We courted for four years. One thing we were both particular about was our sexual health. So we ran some STD tests before getting intimate. We also did routine tests as the relationship progressed.

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Ricky was the only man I had eyes for. Yes, I had a lot of male friends but I never fancied any of them. It was my man or no one else. Cheating never even crossed my mind.

We had spoken about our future together but no preparations were made toward marriage. Then I got pregnant. He took the news well. We agreed we would have the baby. I was anxious but I was also excited to be a mother.

I started antenatal clinic almost immediately. I didn’t want to take chances when it came to the well-being of the life I was growing inside me. Little did I know that I was the one going to pose health risks to my child.

I was made to run some tests. The doctor told me the results showed that I had HIV. I couldn’t believe it. I had done everything to be safe. I had only been with one partner in four years and we got tested regularly. So how could it be?

The news shattered me. Even though the doctors started me on ART medication to prevent transmission to the baby, I didn’t want to keep it anymore. I wanted to end the pregnancy and end myself. I just didn’t know how I was going to face Ricky with the news. I thought he would accuse me of things I hadn’t done and then leave me.

I kept thinking and brooding until he noticed I was unhappy and asked what was wrong. I pretended everything was okay at first but he kept pushing until I told him everything.

This man had always been sweet, loving, and caring throughout our relationship. I don’t know why I didn’t have faith in him to handle things maturely.

Instead of panicking and pointing fingers at me he said, “Let’s go to another hospital and check again, just to be sure.”

When we did, he tested negative while I still tested positive. I was distraught but he remained calm until we got home. There he took my hand in his and confessed his undying love for me.

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“In sickness and in health, I love you. I am not going anywhere, so do me a favour and take your drugs, especially for the sake of our baby.”

He was by my side every step of the way. God being so good, I had a beautiful baby who tested negative. Now, I am pregnant with our second child. Ricky, who married me after we had our firstborn, is the ever-doting husband and an amazing father.

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I am glad he is the man I am doing life with. Walking this journey with him has taught me that my diagnosis is not a death sentence. It’s something that can be managed. Also, he never accused me of getting it from another man. We understand that I could have gotten it anywhere, the salon and other places I visit as a woman could have exposed me to such infections.

I am just grateful I have a man who chose me after all was said and done. I feel blessed to call you my husband, Mr Ricky. I love you.

—Achiaa

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