We had a good thing going until he went through my phone and saw a conversation I had with a friend about him. It was about how our relationship started. Although I love him now, it wasn’t like that in the beginning. I was with him because of what he had and what he did for me. I knew with time, the love would grow, and truly, it has.

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Unfortunately, he found my message to my friend saying, “I was with him because of what he had and what he did for me.”

When he confronted me about it, I couldn’t find the words to explain myself. That Thursday was a terrible day. I couldn’t tell him, that was then but now we love each other. “I reciprocate your kindness to me. I take care of you just as you take care of me.”

I thought this was something he already knew. It was obvious in our relationship. But he chose to latch onto those words instead of acknowledging our reality. While I fumbled for words, he said, “It’s fine.”

Then the next day, he ended everything. I have apologised several times but he doesn’t want to take me back. I have asked our mutual friends to speak to him but he won’t budge.

He is so hurt that he has gone to tell my best friend many things about our relationship. Things I did in the past that he forgave me for. I wasn’t happy he did that. “Was it that he never forgave me, but kept my wrongs to use against me?” I asked myself. The way he handled things made me feel he was waiting for me to mess up so he would leave me.

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If not, then why is he making a big deal about the way I felt about him in the past? Doesn’t it matter that I fell in love with him when I got to know he is a true gentleman and a loving human being? Lord knows I tried to show him that I don’t love him for what he has but for who he is.

Despite all the untrue and hurtful things he said about me to my best friend, I did everything I could to win him back—and I am still trying—but he insists he is done.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

He said he has lost all feelings for me. Just like that? I have never felt this rejected in my life.
It has broken me into pieces. I am losing myself. I have even lost weight.

I don’t want to continue like this anymore. I want to overcome the pain and move on, but the memories of us haunt me so much that they affect my entire being. I still find myself apologising to him when I miss him. How do I heal?

—Saxx

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