I knew about his gambling addiction when the relationship began. He tried to hide it from me at first but I figured it out. Maybe if he was just a regular gambler, he would have gotten away with keeping it a secret. But this is addiction we are talking about. It ate into his very lifestyle.

I thought I could help him overcome it. Can you blame me though? At that time, I was in my first year at the university. I was young and full of hope. I believed if I poured enough love into someone, I could change their lives for the better. That was the same attitude I approached Nana with.

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What I didn’t realize was that his addiction ran deeper than I could see with my eyes. Although he is an older man, I was monitoring him like I would a teenage boy. I followed him to watch football matches, just so he wouldn’t end up in a casino.

Sometimes he stayed clean when I was with him. Other times he was the one who ended up dragging me into his favorite casino. “If you are with me you can pull me away when I am going too far,” he would argue. We became known by casino attendants because of this.

One of the cashiers at Vienna City even became a friend of some sort. Whenever Nana went to the casino without me she would call me and snitch on his a$$.

The day before Valentine’s Day in 2013, Vienna City had a raffle draw. The cashier who was my friend allowed me to participate even though I had never gambled before. Considering the number of times I had watched Nana lose, I didn’t expect anything positive.

However, luck was on our side that day. I won GHS1,500, and so did he. You can imagine my excitement. Call it beginner’s luck, but I was not ready to push it. So while he was willing to stake bets with his wins, I wanted us to leave.

We were still talking about our next move when a group of guys surrounded us. They wanted a share of our money. We had to communicate through eye contact and fake some phone calls to get away from them.

The rush of the win and the adrenaline of our escape had me intoxicated. I was over the moon as we made plans for Val’s day. While we showered, we talked about how much of the money we would use and how much we would save.

Saving money is not part of a gambler’s dictionary but I hoped he would listen to me for once. I wanted better for him than he ever wanted for himself. This man was so knee-deep in his problems that he couldn’t put money together to get his own place. He was living in someone’s house as a caretaker. And I wanted to help him change that about himself.

Before we went to bed that night we had a lengthy discussion about financial responsibility. He nodded and agreed to everything I said. Then we agreed we would go somewhere nice for dinner the next day to celebrate our love.

I woke up in the morning filled with smiles. I told him, “My hair is a mess. Let me go to the salon and freshen up. I will be back soon.”

I wanted to leave with the money but he refused. I didn’t trust him to stay home and not go gambling so we fought. In the end, we came to a compromise. “Fine, you are allowed to spend GHS200 if it comes to it.” That settled it.

I met a long queue at the salon so I spent the whole day there. The entire time I was there, I kept checking up on Nana. He assured me he was home. He only stepped out briefly to get food. I don’t know why but I believed him.

Now tell me why after a long day of looking forward to our dinner plans, Nana called and asked me to meet him at the very casino we had escaped from the day before.

“What are doing there?”

“You, just come. I want to explain everything when you get here.”

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He sounded distraught. I thought he was in trouble. You should see the speed with which I got there. To my dismay, Nana indeed was in trouble.

He bet away all the money we won the previous night. Yes, mine and his combined. Everything finished but he kept betting until he ran into debt. Herh, my heart. I didn’t know whether to cry or scold him like a child.

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It’s been over a decade since that incident but that night left a mark because of the immense shame I felt. The thing is, he is the only man I dated who put me through so much embarrassment. And all of it had to do with his gambling addiction.

That night, however, stands out because it was Valentine’s Day. We were supposed to go to a nice restaurant and have dinner to celebrate our love but we ended up sorting out my boyfriend’s gambling debts in a casino. Who would forget that?

—Queen

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