Two months into my national service posting, one guy who works at the same hospital as a nurse caught my attention. Although we were aware of each other, we were not close. We only said “Hello…Hi” to each other, and the few times we spoke were about work. I didn’t even have his number.

One evening, I was online reading some stories to pass time. Then I received a text message from an unknown number. Normally, I would ignore it because the person didn’t introduce themselves. However, this time around, I engaged the person. The conversation went on for a while before it dawned on me that I was talking to him, the guy from my workplace. 

His name is Emmanuel. That evening we spoke as though we were old friends. It didn’t make any difference that it was the first time we were talking. The vibe was easy between us. He opened up to me about his relationship problems. Based on everything he told me, I concluded that he was going through a lot in his toxic relationship. And he confirmed it when he said, “I am sorry I am dumping all this on you. It’s just that I feel so overwhelmed by everything. And I need a friend.” So I became his friend. 

One month into our friendship he told me, “I have seen that my relationship is not worth saving. My ex will not change. So I have decided to move on and be with someone else.” I didn’t know this someone else was me. I didn’t even fancy him like that, let alone plan to date him. But it happened. 

Barely a week into our relationship I noticed he had been making some calls, including video calls to a certain number. I asked him about it and he said the person was just a friend. I also found out that he lied about his age. When we first started talking he said he was my age. Later, it came to light that he is two years younger than me. I was hurt because I had no intention of dating a younger guy.  

Within a week, I got proof that the number he was calling and having regular chats with was a lady called Edem. All the little things pointed to the fact that they were dating. When I confronted him he said, “Oh Edem? She is just a friend. She works at the bank so whenever I have financial issues that need to be resolved she helps me out.” Meanwhile, their conversations gave no indication of that response. 

I didn’t want to be strung along so I took Edem’s number from his phone and texted her. She confirmed that they were going out. Even with this evidence, Emma denied their relationship. I had to call Edem in front of him before he admitted it. 

This whole thing became a fight between us. I was ready to leave him, but he begged me not to. He assured me he had broken up with the Edem lady. I tracked his messages and saw that they were no longer talking. However, I was still hurt by what happened. All the trust I had in him before the relationship began was gone. 

It didn’t help matters when I came across his conversations with his ex. This was the same lady he claimed cheated on him repeatedly and made him depressed. I asked myself, “How did I end up right back here? This is the same situation I experienced with my ex. He also couldn’t let go of his ex. I was trying to avoid such a thing from happening again but here I am, in love with a guy who is sneaking around to talk to his ex.” 

I was in pain because of his actions but I couldn’t also walk away because it hurt more when I tried. So I stayed even when Edem resurfaced in the relationship. So now he was talking to both his ex and the Edem lady. One time I read a message Edem sent him when he was getting ready to go home. She told him, “Before you go home let’s meet so I collect a dress I left at your place the last time I visited you.” I am not going to lie, this message broke my heart. I couldn’t talk though, because I knew nothing would change. So I cried till I got tired.

When he finally went home, he ignored me for two whole weeks. No calls. No messages. I tried to get his attention but when it all failed, I decided to use our time apart to detach myself from him emotionally. During that period, I met an old friend of mine. 

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We lost touch because the guy was interested in me but I didn’t like him like that. I don’t know what changed this time around. We talked a great deal about our past and our friendship. One day I paid him a visit and we ended up having sex. I regretted it after it happened. I couldn’t even stick around to look at his face or have a conversation about it. I left as soon as the did was over, with guilt eating away at my conscience. 

I tried to keep my little transgression to myself but I couldn’t live with the guilt. So I came clean and told Emmanuel what happened with my friend. I knew it could mean the end of the relationship. You know how men can’t take what they dish out. But I couldn’t also pretend nothing had happened.

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When he returned from his leave, we met but he didn’t say anything about the issue. A week later, he asked Edem to come around and do some laundry, cleaning, and cooking for him. I knew then that he was done with me. She was already waiting for everything to end between us so she could get back together with him, so it works for both of them. It’s okay. They can have each other. I will heal eventually.

I know this relationship was not healthy for me. And I know I messed up when I cheated. This particular breakup is the best thing for everyone involved. Nonetheless, this knowledge does not take away the pain in my heart. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to heal. I need some comforting words to keep me going. 

— Afriyie

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