I met him married, and he asked us to be friends. Later, the friendship started growing into areas I didn’t foresee coming. I asked about his intention, and he said he wanted me to be more than just a friend. I asked, “What about your wife?” He answered, “What about my wife?”

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We spent a whole night talking about his wife. I told him I was scared we would get caught and it would turn into an embarrassment. He said his wife would understand even if she found out. I asked why, and he told me, “Since we got married, no child. The problem is from her. She gets pregnant and miscarries it. I don’t know what I should do to her again.”

Instead of pitying his wife and staying away from the husband, I rather pitied the husband and decided to be that woman who would make things better for him. I wanted to be his safety and also be the woman he could have a child with, if he wanted.

We dated for over three years, and all was well. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. I clung to him, and we even thought of marriage. He said he was going to leave his wife if another year came without a child. I urged him to do it because I’d come to love him so much and wanted to take his wife’s place.

One night, a call came through while I was with him. The voice said, “I’m the wife of the man you’re seeing. I’ve been meaning to call you for a very long time.” I looked at him lying peacefully next to me and nudged him. I whispered, “It’s your wife, what should I say?” He thought I was lying until I showed him the contact. He got up and quickly started dressing up.

The woman called to tell me, as if I didn’t know, that her husband was married. She said he was lying to me, so I should stay away from him. And then she concluded, “If you don’t, then I’ll know you’re intentionally trying to snatch him away from me. I won’t be this soft to you at all.”

By the time she hung up, he had already finished dressing up and said he was leaving. I asked how she got my number and if they’d fought about me before. He said there had been an argument about me, but he didn’t know she had my number. He apologized to me, but internally I was grateful she knew about us. I felt that would push her out of the marriage quicker than I anticipated, but from that day, things changed.

He didn’t call like he used to. I asked why, and he told me I should give him time to settle the fire on the mountain. He acted like his world was collapsing and warned me to stay away so it wouldn’t collapse on both of us. He asked me to give him at least a month to solve the problem in the house. I was angry. I shouted at him, “Were you not the same person who flexed about a divorce? Why are you running now when divorce is coming to you?”

We were never the same again until one day we had our last conversation but didn’t know it was our last. The breakup was so slow and subtle. I got used to his absence without knowing. I healed as time went on, so I didn’t notice when we came to an end. I met men and dated a few after him, but it didn’t work out. I focused on my job and dreams of being a better woman. While I was not looking, love found me.

I met Edwin, who a few years later became my husband. I didn’t know love could go this deep until he came along. I didn’t know love could be peaceful and still be love. I thought love should have problems, but what he brought was different. It was calm without the raging storm. He kissed easily and made promises he could keep, so when at the altar he promised to love me for better and for worse, I believed him.

Two years later, we didn’t have a child. Three years later, I had my first pregnancy. I was still jubilating about it when I felt something warm creeping down my thighs. There went my first pregnancy. I cried like a mad person. I was inconsolable for days. It took three years to come but disappeared before the news of its arrival had even settled. I feared it would take me another century to have another one, but a year later I got pregnant again.

I walked like I was walking on eggshells. I was very careful because I’d seen some before. I lost that one while I was peacefully sleeping through the night. I woke up to see my bedsheet scarlet red. I ended up in the hospital and spent some days there. I was physically broken, but doctors said I had autoimmune disorders. When the third one happened, they said it was a blood-clotting something. They had a name and an explanation for each one, but my brain kept telling me, “You’ve inherited the curses of that woman whose husband you played with.”

I called him. It had been over seven years since we had any meaningful interaction. I asked about his wife, and he said she was doing fine. I asked if there was a baby, and he said they now had two kids. I told him, “Please ask her if she did something to me when she found out I was dating you.” He laughed, but after I explained what I was going through to him, he said, “Don’t take it too hard. It may just be a coincidence. If she had those powers, she would have used them to solve her own problems and not to hurt you.”

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What he said calmed me down, but it has been over a year already and still nothing. It doesn’t worry me that much, but my prayer is that when something finally happens, I don’t lose it. I don’t know what will happen. I may even lose myself in the process. I pray. I take my medications religiously. I wait. It will happen for me too, in His time, I believe.

—Mariah

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