I live with my family: my dad, mom, and two sisters. One of my sisters is still in school. When we were growing up, my mom was very strict and protective. She watched our every move closely and always wanted to know what was happening in our lives. Most times, she would warn us, “Be careful with the boys.” I know she meant well. She just didn’t want us to get hurt.

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I’ve always been a no-nonsense kind of girl. If you like me, say it. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t drop hints and expect me to guess. Just say it; don’t beat around the corners. “Daniella, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I want you to be my girlfriend.” very simple, very demure.

Some people think I’m like this because I’m older. But I’m still in my mid-twenties. I just don’t like wasting time. Life is too short for stolen glances and endless phone calls that lead nowhere. I don’t want to assume anything. I’ve done that before and ended up hurt. That’s why I’m drawn to bold men. Men who know what they want and aren’t afraid to say it.

That’s what drew me to Carl.

I met Carl in my early twenties. We were both doing our postgraduate studies at the same school. One day during break, he walked up to me and said, “Hi, I’m Carl. I’ve seen you around, and I’d like us to be friends.” I wasn’t sure at first, but his confidence and charm pulled me in. He took my number, and we started talking.

Carl was bold. He had presence. He had fire. And those eyes could look right through me. I melted every time he looked at me. He had the looks, the height, and the charm. He seemed perfect. Or maybe he was just good at pretending. I was about to find out.

Carl was much older than me. Maybe that’s why he acted so controlling. If he called and I didn’t pick up because I was on another call, he would get upset. He would ask who I was talking to, especially if he thought it was a guy. No matter how I explained, it was never enough. He wanted all my attention, all the time, every day.

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I told him I was a quiet person. That I liked a simple life. He said I was boring. That I needed to go out more and have fun. That wasn’t me, but I wanted to make him happy. I didn’t tell my mom about him. I knew she wouldn’t approve. Carl brought out a rebellious side of me I didn’t even know I had. But I couldn’t live a double life under my mom’s roof. Still, I tried everything I could.

I would tell my mom I was going for group study, then sneak off to meet Carl. It felt like I was a teenager again. When I was with him, I forgot about everything else. It felt exciting. He made me feel things I had never felt before.

One day, we went on a date to a hotel owned by one of his friends. He said we should look around. Before I knew it, we were in a room. He sat on the bed, looked at me, and said nothing. But his eyes said everything. He pulled me close and kissed me. I kissed him back. I was lost in the moment until his hands started going where they shouldn’t. I pulled away. He apologised and said he didn’t know what came over him. I said it was okay, but I had to leave. And I did. That moment shook me

I realised I was changing for him. Doing things I wouldn’t normally do. My mom noticed. So did my friends. They knew about Carl from the start, and they didn’t like him. They said he was distracting me, especially with exams coming up. They said he was changing me. And they were right.

One day, they sat me down like I was being interviewed for a big job. The conversation was very intense. But by the end, we all agreed. I had to let Carl go.

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It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My heart wanted one thing, but my mind knew better. Carl didn’t take it well. He begged me to stay. You know how it goes. He said all the things I wanted to hear. He promised we could fix things. But I stood my ground. It took days, but I finally told him it was over. He was hurt. He didn’t want to let go, but in the end, he did

Even after the breakup, he kept texting. Trying to get me back. I refused. Then I saw him posting pictures with other girls on his status; surprisingly, he never posted me. I just smiled and shook my head. He was never mine to begin with. What we had wasn’t love. It was a fling.

Now, I’m older. Wiser. I’ve grown. The next person who comes into my life won’t meet a naive girl. They’ll meet a woman who knows her worth. A woman who won’t settle for less.

If you want me, say it. No games. No hints. No confusion. Life is too short.

—Daniella

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