Three years after marriage, my husband told me he wanted to travel abroad for a better life. I asked where that dream was coming from all of a sudden, and he told me his friend sold the dream to him. He said his friend traveled abroad two years prior and was willing to show him how he got there and got a job.

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We had a daughter who was barely one year old. We named her after his own mother, so his mother didn’t joke with my daughter at all. She would come and visit with her hands full. When he decided to travel, his mother was the first to show concern, telling him to wait and see his daughter grow. He said, “My wife is a good woman. She would do a good job.”

Slowly we got to the point where he needed money to travel. I had to give him what I had. He took some from his parents, but still, he needed more. I had bought land when I was single. When we got married, we decided to build on that land. When it became very hard to get money from friends, we put that land plus the foundation on sale. Finally, when it was sold, he got all the money he needed to make the trip.

When he got there he called. We talked all day that day. He made me talk to his friend to thank him for all the help he had been able to grant him. He was happy. I was happy. All I had for him from that point were prayers. He started working a month later, and that was when he started complaining about living conditions. I told him, “Be patient; you’ll adjust and be alright.”

He would go for a week without reaching out. I understood him. It was about work and also the time difference. Then a week became a month. I started complaining, “At least, send me a message even when you’re too tired to talk. Let me hear from you so my spirit can rest.”

A year later, I had to beg to hear from him. He wasn’t sending anything home. When I asked, all he had for me were complaints. One day he shouted, “Do you think money is on the floor here? Or do you think money grows on trees here?” After that, he disappeared for over a month. All my messages went unanswered, but I heard he was talking to his parents and siblings.

I reported him to his dad. This same man that he’d been talking to told me, “Be patient. Maybe he’s been busy.” For two years, things got worse between us. I was crying inside and praying for my marriage. I blamed the devil for hitting our marriage just when things were getting better. I prayed every day and night asking God to restore my marriage.

One day we had the same argument about money and the fact that he wasn’t calling. He told me, this time very calmly, “I’ve been here for the past two years and life is worse than it was in Ghana, but it looks like you don’t have the patience to wait. Let’s end the marriage here. Marry who is ready to take care of you and make your life better.”

I screamed, “Huh! What are you talking about? Is that a joke?” He told me he wasn’t joking because I didn’t have the patience to wait. He added, “I don’t even intend to come back home again, so it would be better you live your life without me.”

The first person I called was his father. I pleaded with him to talk to his son. He said, “I’d always told you to be patient. You see, you’ve pushed him to the wall. Now what can I say to change his mind? The harm is already done!”

I sent messages asking him to forgive my sins. He read them and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, my father-in-law called my dad telling him his son wanted out of the marriage. My dad called asking what I did. I told my dad, “He just wants to embarrass me because I asked for what was due me. If he wants a divorce, no problem.” My dad said we should beg them. I told him I’d been begging ever since he traveled abroad and I was tired of begging.

In June 2022, his family met my family and traditionally ended our marriage. I wasn’t there. I was at home crying. After that, he got a lawyer here in Ghana; someone who said he didn’t have money was able to hire a lawyer to lead the divorce process. The day the lawyer called, I collapsed on my knees and prayed to God, “God, you know I’ve done nothing to deserve what this man is taking me through. If you’re the God of justice, let him go through the same pain I’m going through.”

Anytime I went on my knees, I said the same prayer. I had to start life from scratch because of him. I’d lost my land because of him, but he chose to pay me back with pain. I never stopped praying against his happiness and wealth. His downfall was even more important to me than my own happiness. I was in pain and denial for close to a year. When we finally went through the divorce process, I told myself I was going to let everything go and pursue my own happiness.

In January 2025, I heard he was in Ghana. My heart skipped a beat, but I told myself I’d moved on. Those who saw him told me he didn’t look like he came from abroad. They said he looked haggard, like he was returning from a war-torn country. Those who talked with him came to tell me he didn’t sound right. It was all gossip until one day he came knocking at my door wanting to see our daughter.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him, but I kept a smile on and welcomed him. He came as often as he could. I didn’t block him. He talked with our daughter for several minutes and later left. One day, he said he wanted us to talk. I sat and looked straight into his eyes. He said sorry while tears were coming down from his eyes. “I know I didn’t treat you right. Maybe it’s the reason for my suffering. Please forgive me. Look at my life now. I know I deserve everything, but please forgive me.”

It was that day I heard the full story behind his return. He was arrested for illegal documentation and was later deported. He told me he had come to start life all over again, but he needed my forgiveness because I’m the person he knows he’d hurt. I told him I’d moved on and forgiven him long ago.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

He still comes around in the name of visiting us, but I’ve heard from the grapevine that he’s talking to a group of elders to come and apologize officially to me and also ask me to accept him back since I’m still single. I pray it forever remains in the grapevine. If he ever makes such an attempt, he would regret the day he was born. I wasn’t created for him.

—Vinola

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