I was living with my aunty when I met my baby daddy. She was working and needed an extra hand on deck, so I came to assist her. While there, I met him, and we fell in love. He told me he liked me very much. “Out of all the girls around, you are the only one who has captured my heart, and I want to get to know you more,” he said. I was single and open to dating, so I agreed, and we started dating.

We had sex for the very first time, and some weeks later, I tested positive for pregnancy. Out of fear of what my parents would say and the shame I would bring upon them, I went to tell him first to ask what we were going to do. I insisted that we keep the baby. Looking at the fact that he accepted responsibility, I knew all was going to be well.

READ ALSO: Why Do Older Women Keep Turning Us Younger Men Down?

Three months later, the pregnancy was not treating me well at all. I was always tired, constantly vomiting, nauseous, and stressed out. I tried to endure it, but I just didn’t think I had it in me to do it for another six months. So, I called him and said, “Dear, I want to terminate the pregnancy. It is stressing me out, and I can’t continue.” He didn’t agree. “We are almost at the end of the road. Let’s have the baby.”

Then my parents found out about the pregnancy, and I was thrown out of the house. So, I packed my bags and went to live with him. That period was full of trials and tribulations. During that same time, he lost his teaching job, and life became extremely difficult. As a pregnant woman, it was even more difficult for me, so I began looking for a job to help him.

I landed a mobile banking job doing Susu. My manager didn’t know I was pregnant because my tummy wasn’t showing yet, but I was already about four months gone. Since I started working, I became the breadwinner of the house. Everything they needed, I paid for. Even his parents benefited because we were living in a family house. The salary was small, but whatever the case, it had to feed four people, and I had to manage it carefully.

In my third trimester, I resigned from the job. It was stressful as it was, and I couldn’t keep up with walking here and there as the job required me to do. Three days after I celebrated my 20th birthday, I put to bed. I was now having a child with a thirty-year-old man.

We had problems, but the one that broke the camel’s back was when he began feeling entitled. He wanted to change the roles God assigned to mankind, expecting me to become the breadwinner for all of us while he lay around from morning to evening. He got a job and still walked around feeling entitled, always coming home with complaints about something else. It got tiring, so I went back to my parents, begged for forgiveness, and moved back in with them. My boy was only eight months old. We didn’t break up at that time, but when our child was a year and some months old, we officially broke up.

My people, this is where I need your advice.

This man has been absolutely absent from his son’s life. No school fees, no feeding money, nothing. He hasn’t even called to check on his son for the past eight years. My son is now 10 years old, in Class 5, and still uses his father’s surname. The very last time he saw his dad was when he was just two years old. Till date, there has been no call, no check-in, and nothing from his family members either.

The last time I heard anything from them was when his brother’s wife called to inform me that my son’s grandparents had passed away. That was it. Nothing else after that.

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

To make matters more complicated, he is no longer in Ghana. He has relocated to Dubai for work. By God’s grace, I am not doing badly myself, and I am also living outside the country now.

My only concern is this: Is it right for me to change my son’s surname to mine? I have been thinking about this so much lately, and I really want to know what you all think.

— Yah
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>