Our first meeting was a long time ago. He introduced himself to me as Andrews and I told him my name too. We talked and exchanged numbers but he never called. I didn’t expect his call because there was nothing in me that said I should like him. When it came to me giving my number to him, I did it grudgingly. He might have sensed the hesitation in me and decided not to call. As I said, I didn’t expect it anyway so life went on like it always does. 

We met again. It was strange the way we met. He said it was the universe’s way of bringing us together because there’s a score to settle. I said, “Whatever that means, I hope it’s a good thing.” I closed from a program one late night. It was hard for me to get a taxi. Every taxi I stopped said no to me. Those who said yes to me mentioned a huge price that put me off. I started calling Uber. One canceled on me and the rest didn’t answer. It felt like I was going to sleep where I went for the program until one Uber driver picked up. About seven minutes later, I saw Andrews calling my phone. I stood still for a while contemplating who Andrew was. I asked, “Who’s Andrews, and how come I have his number on my phone but don’t remember who he is?” 

I picked up the call and the voice said, “I’m around. Where are you?” I asked, “Around where? And who is this?” He said calmly, you ordered an Uber. I’m the Uber driver.” That got me more confused than ever. “How can I have an Uber driver’s number on my phone? When did I pick him and why did I save his number? I was getting scared, especially because it was very late. I walked slowly to the car, anxious to know who this Andrews is. Immediately he saw me he screamed, “Oh it’s you? Oh wow, loooong time. Since that day, I didn’t hear from you again.” 

At long last, calm entered my heart and I smiled. I said, “Andrews? He said, “Oh wow, so you remember my name?” I answered, “I still have your number.” He asked, “And you never called me?” I said, “That wasn’t the arrangement when we first met, right? You said you were going to call and never did. Plus I didn’t know I still have it until you called a moment ago so it’s not altogether my fault.” We had a lengthy chat while he drove me home. When we got to my gate he asked me, “Can I keep your number? I promise I will call you this time.” I answered, “I still have your number. When you call, I will answer.”

He called the following day more excited about our meeting. He apologized for not calling the first time. I told him I didn’t hold it against him. He said, “We are meant to be friends that’s why the universe has brought us together again. I won’t slack this time.” His calls came often. He told me about his day and asked about mine. One late night he called me, “Where are you?” I answered, “Where else could I be at this moment in time? I’m in my room trying to get some sleep.” He said, “Come out. I’m right at the gate.” I went out and he gave me a parcel. He said, “This is me saying sorry for collecting your number and still didn’t call.” I screamed, “Arrrrhhh!” and we both burst out laughing. 

I sat in his car for about half an hour. We talked like kids in love. You remember how love happens in nursery…you see your classmate comes to school with one beautiful pencil and the pencil gets you closer to him because you love pencils, especially when it’s sharpened and pointed. Just when you’re trying hard not to fall easily, he pulls a pink eraser that smells like candy. You fall down flat in love because the girl in you loves pencils and pink is your favorite color and everything that smells like candy makes you fall in love. So that simple gesture brought the child in me to play. I started having thoughts that said, “He likes me. He won’t do that if he didn’t.”

 We went on a date and talked about our relationship status. I answered, “No I don’t have anyone. It’s been like that for the past year. Yeah, my ex wanted to come back but I slammed the door in his face. He smelled the violence in the way the door screamed so he never came back again.” He also said, “Yeah I’ve been single too. The day I took your number, I was in a complicated relationship and looking for an escape. But I decided to work on it and see how far it would go. I tried. I gave it my all but what will die will die no matter how often you water it. So here I am.” We ate while looking at each other. We drank in silence as if we were waiting for someone to say something. He held my hand and helped me to get up. He walked me to his car and drove me home. I woke up the next morning and saw his proposal beautifully written on my phone. 

“Yes. I will be your girlfriend.”

That was five months ago. Now, I’m confused and it’s out of that confusion I’m sharing this story with you today. 

He tells me he loves and he let his actions show. He calls very often. He has a very busy job schedule and he tops it up with Uber driving on weekends but he still makes time to call and text and visit as often as he wants. I have no doubt in my head that he likes me but ever since he proposed and I said yes, he hasn’t done anything amorous. We’ve never kissed. We’ve never hugged—Ok, I hugged him once and he hugged me from the shoulder as if my chest had pins that would prick him. When I touch him in any way he shrinks. We’ve never had sex and our conversations had been very dry—void of anything amorous. Yes, he sends me “I love you” Texts but that’s all. Nothing in between. 

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So one evening, he came to visit me. It was a Friday evening. I cooked for him and served him in a way to make him relax. Later in the night, he said he was leaving. I told him, “No, you’re not leaving. You’re spending the night with me.” He didn’t fight it. All he said was, “You should have told me to bring another shirt so I could have gone to work right from here tomorrow morning.” That wasn’t my problem so I didn’t suggest any solution. He bathed and we went to bed. I gave him explicit signals but he refused to act on them. All night, he slept at the edge of the bed with his hands tucked in between his thighs as if he was a refugee sleeping in a camp. The more I drew closer to him, the more he moved closer to the edge of the bed. “Ah, it’s everything alright? I asked him. He responded nasally, “Yeah I’m alright. Just too tired.” 

I gave him space thinking he was a dawn person or an early morning person. Dawn passed us by and the cocks crowed in the morning. This man continued staying at the edge of the bed with his hands in between his thighs. In the morning I asked him, “Is everything alright? You didn’t look comfortable all night” He answered, “It’s because I’m not used to sleeping next to you.” 

Can you Imaging? 

The next one was me spending the night with him at his place. Guess what, he stayed in the hall watching TV until late at night when I went to the hall and saw him sleeping while sitting on the sofa. I tapped him, “Ain’t you coming to bed? Why are you here sleeping?” He jolted back to life and said, “Oh I’m not sleeping ooo. I’m enjoying this series so much that I can’t leave it. No work tomorrow so I can watch until it’s late. I sat next to him and later put my head on his lap. I wanted to use my head to check if there would be a bulge but he lifted my head up and placed a pillow on his lap and asked me to put my head on the pillow instead. I asked again, “Is everything alright?” He answered, “Yes everything is alright.” I asked, “You’re not attracted to me? You’ve been avoiding every emotional advance I’ve made toward you. Is anything wrong that I don’t know?” He acted jitterily. He said all was well. 

“Are you a virgin?” 

“Arrrh, how can I be at my age? I’m not.”

“So what is wrong with me that you don’t want to engage?”

“Nothing is wrong. I’m only taking my time.”

“Time for what? And how long are you going to take that time?

“You worry too much. Everything would be fine.”

That was the last conversation we had on shuperu and that was two months ago. Nothing has changed and nothing has improved. Now, he avoids the topic anytime I try to bring it back. Is everything alright? How can I stay at ease with this sort of attitude? I know how men chase shuperu, especially at the initial stage of the relationship. He isn’t chasing. I’ve taken it to his doorstep and he still finds a reason to avoid me. What could be wrong? At first, I thought it was about me. Maybe there was something he didn’t like about me but dear, you need to see me to believe. I’m a piece of art. I don’t mean to brag but God gave me everything in every department. I believe it’s the reason he even fell in love with me so what can be wrong?  

–Valeria

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