Everything Started When He Came Home To See Me And His Other Girlfriend Together

Kwame and I have been in a long-distance relationship for the past four years. He lives in Kumasi while I live here in Accra. Sometimes he comes to Accra and stays for a couple of weeks before he leaves. So he has his own place here. And when he is travelling he gives his key to me. We haven’t had any major problems in the past until just recently when he came to town.

By the time he arrived, I had started my night shifts. So he took me to work. Before he dropped me off he said, “I will take you to work every night until your night shifts are over. So call me whenever you’re ready to go.” “Aww, my boyfriend is so sweet,” I thought as I showered him with lots of thank you.

The next day we texted nicely. Then at night, I called my boyfriend when I was ready to go to work but he didn’t pick up. I called him a few more times but he still didn’t answer. I became concerned because it was unlike him not to answer my calls. I called one of his neighbours to check on him for me. The lady told me he was in his room and awake. So he was ignoring my calls on purpose.

I was upset but I decided to call him one last time. For some reason, he answered the call. I said hello but he didn’t say it back. He was rather talking to someone else. The other person was a woman. And they were discussing the number of kids they were going to have. They were talking about how much they loved each other. I was so broken when I heard this but I had to pull myself together and go to work.

Thirty minutes later he called me, “Babe, I am so sorry that I missed your calls. I realized my phone even picked up your last call. Sorry, is it too late to come and pick you up?” I just told him, “Whatever you were trying so hard to hide, God has revealed it so drop the act.” Then I hung up.

He realized I was angry so he didn’t call me back or come to see me until two days later. He came to kneel and begged for my forgiveness. He said, “What you heard meant nothing to me. Please, it will never happen again.” It was the first time something like that had happened. And he was sincerely sorry. So I let it slide.

After he apologized, he said he was going to visit his mother. It was going to be a return journey so I didn’t ask him for his key. A few hours later I received a call from Kwame’s neighbour. The one I called when I couldn’t hear from him. She asked me, “Sister Edith, where is bro. Kwame?” I responded, “He has travelled. Why?” The next thing she said was, “Are you aware there’s a woman in his room?” I had no idea what she was talking about. But I had a feeling that it might be the same woman I heard him speaking to.

I called Kwame and asked why he didn’t give his key to me when he was leaving town. He answered, “It’s because I have a friend staying with me. She is looking for accommodation so I offered my place to her.” So he admitted that there was a woman in his room. However, I wanted to know his relationship to the woman so I went over to his place.

I got there, knocked gently, and the lady came out. I then greeted her and went into the room. She followed me inside and we both sat on the couch. There was a heavy silence between us until she took her phone and called Kwame. I am sure she wanted to tell him that he had a visitor. Except he didn’t answer the call. We were left with no choice but to talk to each other.

I asked her, “Kwame said you are his friend, is it true?” She shook her head, “No, I am his girlfriend. We have been dating for two years now.” I was shocked but I kept my cool as I said, “I am also his girlfriend. We’ve been together for four years now.” Unlike me, she couldn’t hide her surprise. She said, “Wow! Kwame told me you are his ex-girlfriend who has been disturbing him to take you back.” At this point, I opened my mouth.

When I recovered, I decided to leave. But the lady told me to stay so we would both confront Kwame together. Thankfully, we didn’t have to endure hours of awkward silence. He showed up early enough. And the moment he opened the door and saw our faces he got angry and shouted at us, “The two of you should leave my room this very instant. I don’t want to deal with whatever drama you have planned.” Still, we didn’t go down quietly. I insulted him and so did the other lady.

While we were giving it to him, the lady packed her things and stormed out. Kwame followed her out and locked me inside. I had to look for his spare key and open the door to get out. My heart was breaking but I told myself that I was done with him. I went home and cried my heart out. He called and texted me several times but I ignored him.

Days later, he came to my place again bearing apologies. He was remorseful. He said he didn’t mean to cheat but it just happened. He talked about how much he regrets hurting me. “If I could go back in time and take it all back, I will.” I was hurt that he lied to me. But I was also still in love with him so I gave him another chance. We even had shuperu before he went back to Kumasi.

A month later he returned to Accra. He said he was coming to do some work. Only for me to go on WhatsApp to see that the other lady had posted a photo of herself in Kwame’s car. The moment I saw it I called him, “What’s going on? You said you were done with that girl so why was she in your car?” He got angry and said, “You can call the girl and ask her about me if you want.” When I called the lady she assured me that they broke up. “He only came to help me with some work. I don’t want to come between the two of you anymore,” she concluded.

My conversation with her caused a lot of drama between me and Kwame. He didn’t understand why I went ahead and called the lady after he told me to. He reported me to his mother. And the woman asked me to apologize for peace to reign. I honestly didn’t want to do it but for the sake of his mother, I apologized. Unfortunately, it didn’t fix anything. He continued to give me attitude.

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While all that was going on, I found out I was pregnant. When I broke the news to him he said, “This should have made me happy but with the current state of our relationship, I am not ready for a child. Do whatever you can to get rid of it.” I was so disappointed to hear his response. After everything we have been through in the past four years, I want to keep the baby. It’s just that I don’t want to do it alone. I need his support yet he is unwilling to give it.

I spoke to his mother about it and she said, “Kwame told me he wants you to keep the baby, so don’t get rid of it. Whatever negative thing he says, don’t mind him. Men do that all the time but eventually, he will come around.” My mother also said the same thing. She believes he will accept the reality of the pregnancy and start acting right.

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I want to believe that they are right but I also don’t want to take any chances. All he does is hurl negative words at me. He believes I got pregnant on purpose to trap him, even though he knows I took the post-pill after our last encounter. He is saying everything possible to hurt me so that I will terminate the pregnancy. But his mother keeps encouraging me to stay strong and stand my ground.

I just want to ask, is it true that he will come around if I keep it? Is that what happens? Do all men freak out at the mention of pregnancy but later calm down? Or what I see is what I will get if I continue with it? What should I do?

—Edith