Although I was living with my aunt, Festus was the one providing for my educational needs in high school. I was in love with him, and we were happy together. All along I thought I was the only girl in his life. It was after I completed high school that I found out he had someone else. By the time I knew the truth, I was pregnant with his child. I couldn’t live with my aunt anymore so he took me to his mother in the village.

I lived with his mother for ten months. This consists the most part of the pregnancy and a few months after the baby arrived. When I was ready to return to the city with the child he asked me; “Would you want to come and live with me or I should rent for you?” I told him I preferred to live with him. He didn’t have a problem with that. I noticed that he broke up with the other lady after I moved in. Things became good between us after this. We were happy again.

After a while, I decided to add value to myself so I could attain financial independence. I told my baby daddy about my plans to pursue a short course. “It’s a six-month course. It will help me get a job while I figure out what to do next.” Festus said he didn’t want me to work. “Just stay at home and look after the baby.” So I stayed at home and started selling plates.

Soon enough, he completed a building project. We had to move from our rented apartment to his new house. At the new place, I had to do something else for money. So I decided to go and look for a job. Festus told me to rather look for a shop so he would set me up. I agreed and started working on it. The next thing I knew he had gone to discuss it with his mother. She told him not to do anything for me so he also changed his mind about setting me up.

I didn’t want to sit idly so I went out and started looking for jobs. Just as I got one, I found out that I was pregnant again. Our first child is currently six years old. I have given birth to our second child. There was a time his mother visited when we moved into the new house. Festus told me, “Let’s give Mama the bedroom.” I said okay.

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I moved my things to another room. He even helped me but did not move his stuff. He stayed in the same room with his mother and slept on the same bed with her for a year. That was when I was pregnant. Throughout that time, he did not touch me. Now, our baby is one and a half years old but he still hasn’t touched me.


Since we moved to that new house, things have changed between us. His mother’s visit also made it worse. Everything I discuss with him, he tells his mother. If it’s a need he has to provide, his mother must give her approval first before he brings the money. Even if he has to buy clothes for his daughters, his mother must be consulted first. Whenever I buy something, the woman would ask me; “How much did you buy it?” When she was leaving our place for the village, she left her stuff in a big “Ghana Must Go” bag in our bedroom. What does that mean?

He doesn’t sleep on the same bed with me anymore yet if his mother visits, he sleeps on the same bed with her. I can’t stop him from talking to his mother but I need my man back. How can my man not sleep with me since I got pregnant and even after I have delivered? We don’t talk anymore. All he does is go to work and return to a homecooked meal and a clean house. I am not happy. I need my happy home back. What do I do?

—Abena

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