When Covid Couldn’t Stop Our Wedding, It Attacked Our Marriage

Back when we were young and printed photos were a thing, when we had a fight with our friends and we no longer talked to them, we went to our photo album and cut them out of our photos to signify the end of the friendship. I did it often—more than five times I remember. I did it to Morda. I did it to Esther. I did it to Mavis and then I did to Essien. Essien was a crush who never looked my way. The pictures I took with him were my favourite. I placed them at the beginning of my photo album. That was like putting your memory on the front page of the newspapers.

And then he started seeing a friend instead of me. I went to my album, and cut him out of every photo I had with him. So there were a lot of half photos in my albums, telling half of the story while the half was hidden never to be told.

Things are different these days. Photos don’t get printed. Our albums are on our phones so when I broke up with Simon, I gathered all the photos I’d taken with him on my phone and put them in a folder on my computer and named the folder, “Devil’s Home.” In my mind, no one wants to visit the devil’s home so it would forever be a folder I would never visit.

A couple of months after I broke up with him, I met another man on Facebook. His first hi came when I was dating Simon. Our love then was everything I needed so I never said hi back. His second hi came somewhere when our relationship was on its last foot. I responded. I asked what he wanted from me and he said, “I used to see your posts every day but these days you hardly come here. I’m just checking up on you.”

I responded, “I’m fine. Thank you for checking up on me.”

I wrote it so, he might not have figured out the rudeness in my response. He came again and again and again until one day when my relationship with Simon had died, I decided to give him attention. I needed a distraction and he served himself as the perfect lamb for the sacrifice.

His name was Obed. But he liked to say yes to me a lot often so I named him Obedience. When he asked for my contact, I didn’t give it to him. I took his number instead and told him if he put up good behaviour, I would give him a call one day. My heart was broken, yet I was giving another man a tough time just to distract myself from the heartbreak.

We spoke on Messenger for about five months. Each time, he was the one who came to say hello before I responded. One evening, I called his line. It was a call waiting. When he called back, I asked who he was talking to at that time of the night. He asked who I was but I didn’t introduce myself. He said, “I’m sorry but if you won’t tell me who you are, I will have to cut the call.”

He did cut the call. I was impressed. “He cut a call on a lady in the night just because he didn’t know her?” I felt he was serious about life and wouldn’t take a joke so I decided to give him a chance.

Our first meeting was at a piazza shop at the mall. I got there before him. I was seated in a corner when I saw him coming. I hadn’t seen him before but I’d seen his photos on Facebook and he came just like he was looking in his Facebook photos. I smiled but he wasn’t looking at me. He passed me by and went to sit in a different corner. I looked at his face and he looked back but he quickly turned away.

He sent a message, “You said you’re here. I’m here but I can’t see you. Are you inside or out?” I raised my hand and all he said was, “Is that you? You look different.”

My mood was affected. I saw him so why didn’t he see me? He explained later that night that the pictures he saw of me were different because I had makeup on. I wore makeup that day too. So what was different? I knew whatever it was wouldn’t work because he didn’t see the lady he pictured me to be.

After that date, I relaxed. I didn’t call him again, waiting to see when he was going to call. He didn’t call until two days later. Within those two days, my mind was all over the place. “I said it. He didn’t like me. I knew he wouldn’t call again because I didn’t look the kind of woman he expected.”

I was crushing down emotionally, thinking about a guy I wasn’t even dating. When he finally called, he was like, “I’m sorry. I’d been very busy but why didn’t you call to check up on me?”

I didn’t intend to give him an audience but the week that followed was intense. He called morning, afternoon and evening. He was the last voice I heard before going to sleep and the first voice in the morning. You have to give it to a man who makes an effort. “I love you” without effort doesn’t work on me. Effort without ‘I love you’ can make my heart thaw.

He came to my house one day. I thought he was going to propose that day. Instead, he asked me why my last relationship didn’t work. I told him everything. He asked me, “Do you still have your ex’s number?” I answered, “Yes. Why do you ask?” He asked, “You still have his photos on your phone?”

I took my laptop out and asked him to come closer. I showed him the folder name and he laughed. I said, “He lives in this folder. I’m not able to delete the photos because I’m also in there. I decided to bury them in this tomb, never to visit them again.”

He went through the photos one after the other, commenting, “You looked beautiful here.” “Oh I love this dress, you still have it?” “Who did your hair here? It’s nice.”

I said, “So you see why I can’t throw these photos away? I was in there too and I was dazzling. In my younger years, it would have been easy. Photos were printed and it was always easy to cut the devil off.”  He answered, “You can crop him out too if you want.”

So we picked the pictures one after the other and started cropping him out of every one of them. Some weren’t easy. He would go with my hand or half of my cheek and destroy the beauty of the photos but it was ok. I liked it that I was doing it with someone I could love. It was fun and we laughed while doing it. The connection got stronger and stronger until we found ourselves kissing and then going all the way.

After everything, he asked me, “Who are we?” I answered, “You’re Obedience and I am me. Or you think what we did would make us different people.” He laughed and I laughed. He said he wanted us to be a couple. Men don’t usually go for that word. Couple. They go for ‘girlfriend’ but he said couple and I asked what kind of couple and he said, “I’m your man and you’re my woman.” Again, he didn’t use the usual word, girlfriend.

We started a relationship that went on for a year. It was beautiful. He was still Obed, my obedience. I was his woman, the half of his couple.

He took me home and his mom asked, “Where’s the other girl you brought home the other time? How many of these do you want to keep?”

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Right in front of me ooo. His father was tapping this woman to stop but she screamed, “Let me ask so we all get the answer here.” She then turned to me and said, “My lady, sorry. I don’t mean to embarrass him in your presence but it’s good that we all understand where we are and where we are going. Two years ago he brought a lady here. They’ve been here twice and then there’s you. I have to ask.”

I watched him give them the answer without batting an eye; “We are no more together. It didn’t work out but you want me to get married so I brought you the woman I’m currently seeing. She’s a good woman. We have a lot in common. We’ve been doing this for a year and we haven’t had any serious fight. I believe in her that’s why I brought her to you.”

His father was graceful. His mom was receptive after the questions. She even made me a special dinner because I worked with her in the kitchen. She was asking me, let me just say, she was begging me to make it work because her only son needed to bring home grandchildren.

When we got back, I asked him about her ex. I had to know. He also brought his laptop. “I did it the way you had done yours.” The folder was titled, “Don’t open this.” You open it and you meet another folder titled, ‘I said don’t open it.” We opened and met another folder that screams “Don’t open it.” We opened over ten folders before we got to the pictures. They were not a lot. I helped him crop her out of the images just like he did mine.

Our past was no longer with us. I could bring one of my cropped photos and join it to his and it would match. That was the fun we had going forward. A year and a couple of months later, we made the final step. Covid threatened the success of our wedding but we went ahead and did it at the height of the Covid. When Covid couldn’t stop us, it decided to cause havoc in our lives.

My husband had it. I nearly lost him. One month after marriage, my husband was down with Covid. I couldn’t see him for two weeks. The first week he couldn’t breathe so I couldn’t talk to him. I could only pray for him. The first time I heard him speak on the phone, it was like the voice of God in my ears. The sweetest thing I’d ever known.

Three months after he recovered, I also got it. I had all the symptoms and was confirmed positive but mine wasn’t that serious. It didn’t put me down and didn’t threaten my existence. I was Isolated until I tested negative. The fact that we could have lost each other within a few months after marriage brought a certain level of awareness into our lives, that life is too short not to enjoy it with the one you love.

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So he didn’t go anywhere without me and there was nowhere he went that I didn’t follow. Two birds with the same feather. Two beans in a pod. Signs and its wonders. He was the thunder and I was the lightning. Three years later, we are still here but Covid is nowhere to be found. We won and were rewarded two years later when we had our baby girl.

It’s not a smooth journey, everyone says about my marriage and we believe it’s true but when you put effort and intention into it, the edges get smoothened and corners get sharpened. That’s what we do every day and we know this is until death do us part.

—Eme

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