I met Reynolds right after national service when I was desperately looking for a job. I’d hoped I was going to be retained where I did my national service, but they let me go in the end. I was desperate for a job because I didn’t want to go back home. There was nothing there for me to do or take apart from hunger, frustration, and discomfort. We were four siblings sharing one room. I didn’t want to go back to that.

Reynolds promised he was going to help me get a job. I told him I had only three months left to get a job so I could renew my rent, or else I had to go back home. He smiled and said he loved my determination. He carried my CV to places my legs couldn’t carry me or where I lacked the right to access. He spoke to highly placed people on my behalf. A month later, there was nothing.

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My landlord had come to ask me if I was going to renew my rent or if he should start looking for a new tenant. I said I was going to renew.

Two months later, there was still no show. Reynolds asked how much I was paying for rent, and a week later, he paid for a year for me. “Now, you can relax as we patiently look around for an opportunity.” I asked why he was doing all that for me.

A week or so later, he proposed. I said yes to him, and that was the beginning of our love story.

A few months into our relationship, I noticed a pattern. The new service personnel had come to town, and his attention quickly swayed from me. He was doing the same thing he did for me for another lady who was struggling to get accommodation. I didn’t think much of it until all the evidence was clear that he was dating that lady. I later learned he even paid the rent for that lady.

One evening, he was supposed to come to my place, but he said something had come up and he needed to take care of it. Around 9 p.m., when I was about to go to bed, I called his phone, but he did not answer. The voice in my head kicked in, telling me I should go to the lady’s house and look for him there. I got there, knocked, and the lady came out with only a cloth around her chest.

I said I was looking for Reynolds and had learned he was at his girlfriend’s place. The lady smiled and called him out. “Someone’s looking for you.” Reynolds walked out bare-chested to see me standing there. He looked at me, and I looked back. He went back inside, wore his shirt, and told me, “Let’s go. I can explain.”

The lady asked, “Go where to explain what?” He responded, “That’s my wife you’re talking to. Stop shouting.”

He held my hand and pulled me along. I didn’t fight him or even question him. He had called me his wife in front of her. That was all that mattered. I’d forgiven him, telling myself men were like that. Once in a while, they escape from their leash and misbehave.

For a whole year, what existed between us was pure love. I’d even moved from my place to live permanently in his house. I’d taken him home to meet my parents, and he had also done the same. So when he asked me to marry him, it wasn’t surprising to me. I said yes. It took us six months to do it, and right after marriage, we changed where we lived, and he bought a car on a loan for me.

When I was pregnant and suffering, that was when he decided to cheat again. It was a small town. You could stand in a corner, throw a stone, and it would get to the end of the town. Everyone knew everyone’s business, but Reynolds thought he could cheat without anyone knowing about it.

The lady he was cheating with was living in a church member’s house. He was there with the woman when this church member called me to say that my husband had come to stay the night. Meanwhile, he had told me he was visiting his sick parents. I got there, knocked on the door, and the lady came out. Immediately she saw my face, she jolted. She knew me. She knew she had what belonged to me.

I was six months pregnant. My husband came out, saw me, went back inside, took his backpack, and pulled me along. I didn’t talk. I didn’t try to fight. I followed my husband home. I asked him, “Is there something I’m not doing for you that a respectable man like you goes about disgracing himself like that? The cheating doen’t hurt as much as the disrespect you’re bringing to us.”

He sang his apologies. He looked heavenward and swore that it would never happen again.

I had a beautiful daughter who looked like my mother-in-law. Our daughter could barely walk when I caught him cheating again. This time, the evidence was on his phone. This lady wasn’t in town but wasn’t also far from town. She was a national service personnel. She didn’t know my husband was married, judging from the conversations they’d had.

Reynolds had paid her rent and changed her phone for her. This girl would send naked photos or videos to him every night before they said goodnight. To be honest, the girl was very beautiful. Beautiful and young. I’m not ugly, but I’ve been through a lot. To catch your husband cheating and forgive him will make you look ten years older.

I didn’t fight this one. I didn’t ask questions. I went to work one day and asked for a transfer to where my parents were. The man in charge was happy to do it for me because of my hard work and dedication to work.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I took my leave and told him I was visiting my parents. If he was observant, he would have known I was packing more than what I needed for a month, but I guess he was very happy to see me gone so he could have all the time to cheat.

I got home and called to tell him I needed a divorce. He screamed, “How?” I answered, “I just need to be away from a man the community will share with me. You also need to be able to enjoy your naked videos from your mistresses. We both win when we divorce.”

We were married for six years, but the end happened the way rapture was promised to us. He still comes around often. We talk. We laugh. He tries to use the old stories to get to me, but I’m too old to be emotional. What he has is access to his daughter and not me.

#IStayedAfterTheyCheated

—Matilda      

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