I and my boyfriend started dating three years ago. We attended the same primary school but somewhere along the line, we lost touch. I was on Instagram one day when he sent me a message; “Belinda Yankoh? You attended Grace Hour primary school?” I said, “Yes, do you know me?” Then he started playing the records of our childhood when we were in school together. Still, I couldn’t make him out until he sent me his childhood photos.

We became friends again. I realized he liked almost the same things that I liked. He likes my favorite songs and can sing word for word. He likes my favorite movies and series. He doesn’t eat fufu and all my life I’d prayed for a man who doesn’t eat fufu because my father had tortured me enough with the pounding of fufu. I don’t want to ever do it again. One day he proposed and I accepted. Our only problem was the fact that we lived in two different towns. We accepted the challenge and vowed to make things work.

All my life, he’s the only guy who had come out to prove to me that he likes me beyond measure. The silly guys I dated before him were good from the start. Changed in the middle of the relationship and later vanished. This one had been very loyal and had kept me in his plans all along.

There’s only one issue I have with him; his choice of gift. He had never given me a gift that I liked. For instance, my first ever birthday with him, guess what he bought me. If I give you two hundred chances, you’ll never be able to guess it correctly. He brought me a set of ladles. Three of them. Well packaged in a box and beautifully wrapped. At first, I thought it was a pair of shoes, looking at how they were wrapped. And then I thought it might be a cake. You know a birthday goes with a cake. I opened it and these ladles came falling out with banging noise.

“Like seriously? A ladle set for a birthday?” I didn’t want to do anything for him to guess that I didn’t like his present. I thought he might feel bad to know I didn’t like her present so I acted cool, jumped up and down two times, and said, “A ladle, wow, that’s thoughtful of you.” He said, “I’m glad you like it.” I wanted to say, “I don’t like it…” But the holy ghost kept my mouth shut.

On his birthday, I wanted to set some sort of precedence so he could learn from it. I bought him a pair of executive shoes with ties. I bought him a beautiful design dress, packaged them nicely, and sent it to him. He was overjoyed. He wore them to work the following Monday and even sent me pictures. He said, “Nobody has ever given me gifts on my birthday. Thank you very much” I thought he had learned his lesson. I thought the next occasion would be special.

Val’s day, 2020. We planned to meet at my end and celebrate it together. He asked what I wanted and I said, “Something nice. Something from your heart. Something classic that a lady would love to use.” He brought me a set of panties. Immediately I removed them, I knew there was trouble. They looked smaller and worthless. I tried putting them on for him to see it and it got stuck just at the knee level. He said, “Oh it doesn’t fit?” I said, “You should have asked me my size.” He said, “I showed your photo to the seller and she said this would fit.” I said, “Don’t worry. It’s ok.”

So on my next birthday, when he asked what I wanted, I said, “A phone. A phone would do. What I’m using now is almost giving up on me.” He asked, “You’re using an iPhone, right? I said, “Yeah, iPhone 7plus.” He said, “Don’t worry.” One week to my birthday, he told me he had a surprise for me. I asked, “The phone?” He said, “I won’t tell you until you see it.” My heart was lifted up for something bigger. Something that’s not a ladle. Something that’s not a panty that only goes as far as the knee. I was eager.

We were both taking a stroll around my neighborhood when he puts the wrapped gift into my hand. I weighed it, shook it slightly, and immediately knew it was a phone. “The iPhone?” I screamed excitedly. He said, “Just open it and see.” I tore the wrapper, lo and behold, it was an iPhone 8plus in a box. I couldn’t wait to go home and put it on a charge. I said, “This is the best gift I’ve ever received from you.” I got home, removed the phone and immediately I turned it on, the home screen appeared. Just like that. No setup process, nothing. The Apple logo that appeared too looked some way. It didn’t look like the real Apple. I checked the charging port and it was an Android charger.

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I called him, “Herh Agyei, please come for your phone. Do you call this an iPhone? Have you ever seen an iPhone that uses an Android charger before?” He said, “Oh really, I didn’t check. It was in a box so I didn’t open it to check. Or they put the wrong charger in the box?” I said, “Please stop asking me questions. Come for your phone. If you bought it from a shop, please go for your money.” He said, “You know I don’t use an iPhone so I don’t know how it is very well. But it’s expensive too oo.”

He always had a special way of spoiling my mood with the kind of gifts he brought on happy days. One second, you have the greatest feeling because you know you have a new iPhone. The next second, you’re down because the iPhone wasn’t really an iPhone. I stopped expecting too much from him. Like I said, of all the men I’ve dated, he is the only one who makes me feel like he is serious about me. Yeah, he always gets it wrong when it comes to gifts but there were many times he got a lot of things right too, and those many times when he was right, it meant the whole world to me.

So, I don’t judge him on his weakness but instead, look at him and think of his strength. We are still here, planning our future together as a married couple and I know when we finally get to that point, this weakness wouldn’t count for so much. In the meantime, I’ve told him to send me the money and I’ll buy my own gift and still be happy about it knowing he gave me the money to buy it.

–Belinda

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