I am number four out of five children between my mother and my father. I have three elder sisters and one younger brother. Our family used to be peaceful and united until everything changed in 2022.

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As far as I can recall, my father had always been unfaithful to my mother. She knew what was going on but she never confronted him. It’s mostly because she cannot stand confrontations. Even when she tried to address issues with my father peacefully, he would respond with anger. That’s why she always kept quiet no matter what he did.

Sadly, her silence is all we have now. We lost her to low blood pressure on December 17, 2022. Before she died, there was a time she told me, “If I fall again, I won’t wake up.” Sadly, that day came. After her death, our home became chaotic. My father’s behaviour worsened. Peace became a stranger to our home.

He settled every issue with beatings. This toxic behaviour drove my sisters away one after the other. Our second-born sister left home with her child to seek a better life. The third-born, my immediate elder sister, had already left before our mother’s death because of my father’s abuse. When I called to tell her that our mother had passed, she didn’t come home. Later, we found out she was in Ghana working as a call girl.

Our firstborn sister, who was once married to a pastor in Abuja, also left her marriage and took to the streets after our mother’s untimely demise. Just as I was trying to cope with all that, our second-born who was searching for a better life brought her child to us and travelled to Côte d’Ivoire to work as a prostitute like our other sisters.

I was deeply broken but there was nothing I could do. After writing my WAEC exams, I left home as well, leaving my younger brother and my sister’s little son behind. My father was working in Port Harcourt at the time.

When I got to Ghana, I found a job and eventually reconnected with my immediate elder sister. She gave me our firstborn’s TikTok handle. When I checked it, I was heartbroken. Her lifestyle didn’t reflect the values our mother raised us with. We were once admired in our community, because of how upright we were. Even the husband my sister left behind testified that she was a good woman. So why the sudden change?

I didn’t judge her. I asked her what she was doing now, and she told me she worked in a restaurant. She even showed me proof, so I believed her. I advised her to return to her husband, but she dismissed me. She said, “You are a child so you don’t know anything about life.” That hurt me deeply. We argued about it and even stopped talking for a while.

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Later, I created a new TikTok account and commented under her posts. We started chatting again, but she didn’t know it was me. I lied that I was in Abuja and wanted to meet up. I asked if she did hookups. At first, she denied it, but when I offered a higher amount, she told me her rates. That moment broke me completely. All three of my sisters, who were once good, beautiful, and kind, are now into prostitution.

Recently, I learned my father is back in Kaduna and still chasing women. He has sent my younger brother to work as a house help in Benin, with people he doesn’t even know. His friend arranged the job. I’m very worried.

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Right now, my sister’s son is the only one living with my father. He is just six years old but my dad is hardly ever home.

As the first son, I feel responsible for holding what’s left of our family together. But I don’t know how to help my sisters find a better path. I am only 21, but I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime of pain already. How can I save my family from utter ruin?

—Tommy

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