Today, if you ask me, I’ll tell you Accra is the wrong place to fall in love. When I was in my little town in the central region, it was easy to find true love. It wasn’t about money. It wasn’t about the car you drive. You see a woman you love, you approach her, she says yes and you go ahead and have a beautiful relationship. I was in one, we dated for three years until life brought me to Accra. I thought we could hold on to our love and make things work but distance always has its plans—plans that make seeing each other every day difficult and finally cut you off the love you’ve built. That’s what happened to me. The distance wasn’t easy. She was an apprentice who went to work every day of the week. It wasn’t practical to be the only one who always travels to see her so the relationship died.

I found a woman in Accra, right in the area where I lived. I loved her and wanted what I had with the lady in my hometown, pure love that lasts the mile but this lady was always in need. She won’t call me until she needs GHC100 urgently to buy prepaid. She was always looking for something that put a hole in my pocket. I couldn’t keep up. I lost interest and stopped picking up her calls. That relationship also died. Then my friend told me, “This is Accra. You ought to have money to deserve the kind of love you want. Concentrate on your job, make a living first and good women will come along.”

I took his advice and stayed out of everything relationship for two years. Even when I saw a girl who clearly wanted me, I closed my eyes. My job first, money over everything else. 

And then Sandra came along. I didn’t want her at first. I didn’t think of her as a woman I would love to date. It was purely friendship that grew into love. When my heart was bursting at the seams with love for her, I called her and proposed. As usual, she told me to give her some time to think about it. I didn’t relax, I wanted to win her by all means so I started spending on her. I’ll take her here and there every weekend to have fun. I will go to her house to visit with my hand full of gifts. Sometimes she would call me and say, “When you’re coming, please get me this and that.” All were things I was doing to make an impression; That I was a good guy and deserve her heart. A month later we had another conversation. 

She said, “I want you too. You’re such a kind man that every woman will love to keep around but I have to be honest with you here. I have a boyfriend. He cheated on me recently and I was thinking of leaving him. But he came to apologize and put up a good show of remorse so I decided to give him one last chance. The day I gave him one last chance was the day you proposed. I don’t know what to do, to be honest with you. I love you but that guy is still in my life. Yes, he has his last chance but I can’t let you go.” I was disappointed but this was a woman I wanted. I asked her, “So what do we do?” She said, “I don’t mind if you don’t mind. After all, he cheated on me too. If you give me time, I’ll break up with him so it will only be you.” 

I agreed. 

From the way she spoke about that guy, I had the impression that their relationship was just limping out of grace. Just a little bit of time and they’ll be over. Whenever I needed her, she was there for me. Every weekend we were out there somewhere having fun. Sandra would spend the whole weekend with me and her phone won’t ring once. So I asked her, “Is that guy still in your life?” She smiled and said, “Oh he’s there living his life while I’m living mine. Why do you ask?” I replied, “It doesn’t look like he takes you seriously. When you’re here, it doesn’t look like you have another person in your life. I’ve never seen you call him or him calling you. Then it’s better over than what you two are doing.”

She spoke softly, “I’m glad you’ve become a witness to what’s going on between me and him. He doesn’t care so I’ve learned not to care too. It’s a little bit complicated that’s why I don’t want to be the one to leave him but how things are going, we are over but just that it’s not official yet.” 

We dated for a year and nothing came between us. It was just us every day. I started introducing her to my friends and they welcomed her into the fold. I met her friends, two of them. They were happy to see me. One told me, “You look very decent and well-groomed. I hope you don’t break our hearts. My friend loves you and she talks about you every day. Please don’t hurt us OK? We love you.” 

She’ll come along with these friends on some weekends and we’ll have the time of our lives. For a very long time, she didn’t talk about the other guy so I figured he faded off. There was no need for me to also bring him into our conversation. I didn’t want to make it look like I was bringing her past into the frame whenever she tried to move on. Everything was fine until one day she told me, “Hmmm, that guy has gone to see my family ooo. He’s saying he wants to marry me but I don’t want to marry him. He doesn’t care. I don’t know why my family doesn’t want to listen to me.” 

I was like, “He’s still in the picture? I thought you two are no longer together. What’s happening here? Who’s telling the truth?” 

It got to a point, I wanted to call the guy and even warn him to stay off my girlfriend. Thank God for the sense he instilled in me that day. I had to stop seeing her. One of her friends even called to tell me that I shouldn’t believe what people are saying and that the guy is not going to marry Sandra. My heart was breaking but I could only stand aside and watch. She was calling me every now and then begging me not to step aside. “Can’t you fight for the woman you say you love? Must you give up because of what I told you? Ain’t you a man?” 

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Three months later, they had their wedding, while I was still in the dark regretting and cussing myself for believing in a lie. This girl acted like she was being led to the slaughter when the issue of marriage came up but after the wedding, come and see captions and photos. Every second came with a new photo.  “Thank you so much for honouring me. God is not a man to disappoint us.” I read through all the captions and still survived. I told myself, “If I can survive this, then there’s more life ahead of me.” 

When the dust settled, she called to tell me, “Hmmm, forgive me OK. It’s not altogether my fault. He wasn’t stable with his intentions. You’re a good man. You’ll find good love very soon.” 

Currently, one of her friends is pushing herself on me, trying to console me while doing her best to state a claim in my life. I don’t like her. I’m not going to fall in love again in Accra. My little hometown in the central region has good women. There, it’s not about money and the car you drive. You see a woman you love, you approach her, she says yes and you go ahead and have a beautiful relationship. What I want now more than anything is love without drama and I’m convinced that can’t be found in Accra. 

—Paa Kwesi

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