I read Cindy’s story on the man she dated for the last two months leading to his marriage. The torture and embarrassment he took her through and how she later got her revenge. Her revenge was sweet to me but I was amazed how some people were against the way Cindy handled things. Most of the comments said Cindy didn’t do well and she broke someone’s marriage and another woman’s life and what have you. I think she did well. I was happy for the way she handled the man because I’ve been there and bore the brunt of a man’s lie the same way Cindy did. Women like me who have been lied to by men like Cindy’s Fred are thankful for what she did. She represented us well and did what we couldn’t do.
I met Nelly a day before lockdown. I was doing some final shopping for the lockdown when he stopped beside me on his motorbike. “Good morning.” He greeted me with a smile. I was in a hurry but I managed a small smile and a “good morning” back. “I’ve been watching you from afar, and I’m wondering if you would like to be my friend.” Normally in such situations, I would creep out and ignore the person but this one in front of me was different—a different kind of man. Very handsome. I was in a hurry so we exchanged contacts and walked apart. We started talking after that and the conversations were great. Maybe the pandemic had a hand in the special way I felt toward him. The world looked like it was going to end soon. People were lonely. People were looking for someone to spend their end days with if indeed the world was going to end. We talked for a month before he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t hesitate or pretend to think about it. I liked him so I accepted his proposal.
Like all relationships, we had our ups, and downs. The rough times weren’t anything we couldn’t overcome. One would say we were almost perfect. I never had suspicions that he was cheating on me. I even tried to catch him doing it but there was nothing to catch. I went into his phone to snoop but it was clean. I did my social media searches and it was clean too. I was convinced that I was the only woman in Nelly’s life. I decided to trust him and go all out on the relationship.
Last year October, I had a strange call that shattered my world. It was a woman on the other end; “Please do you know Nelly? Nelly, the police officer.” It was strange to me that someone will call and ask that question but I replied “Yes. I know Nelly. Is there a problem?” The woman said, “Oh not at all. I am his sister and he gave your number to me. What’s your relationship with him?” If she is his sister then she should have known that Nelly and I have been together for over a year. I had just gotten home from spending the weekend with Nelly and he didn’t mention a sister. He has never mentioned that he had a sister. I told her, “If you are his sister then ask him.”
There was a long pause. When he recovered her voice, she said, “I don’t even know why Nelly asked me to do this. It’s hard but I have to do it for him. He asked me to tell you that he is getting married. He said he doesn’t know how to tell you himself.”
Some people love to get the worse reactions from people through pranks. This call felt like a prank at first because it didn’t sound real. But the determination in the lady’s voice was too good to sound like acting.
Oh wow! We had been together all this while and I thought everything was going on just fine. I had literally just gotten home from spending the weekend with him. So how could this happen? How could this be true? A lot was going on in my mind. The phone was held to my ears but I wasn’t saying anything. I was silent. Thinking. Breaking down slowly. The lady broke the heavy silence; “I know this must be difficult for you, but it’s all for the best.” Oh, she didn’t know anything. I shut her up and told her to tell Nelly that I wish him all the best. She tried to say more. More crap about life and how things are going to be well and those silly motivations people who don’t feel it usually churn out. I hung up the call.
I called Nelly immediately. He didn’t answer. I called a few more times but he didn’t answer. I decided I would go to his place after I close from work. When I closed from work I passed by his place but he wasn’t home. He must have anticipated my visit.
He called me the next morning, “Please forgive me. I didn’t intend for this to happen. I love you, and I didn’t mean to do this to you. The woman I’m getting married to has helped me, and in return, I have promised to marry her. Understand that this is difficult for me too.” He spoke as if he was being led to the slaughter against his will. I knew they were all scripted lies. “When is the wedding?” I asked. He said, “This coming weekend.” I was so hurt in so many places I didn’t know existed. I felt stupid and disrespected. I hung up on him and blocked his number.
From how it looked, the weekend we spent together was his goodbye. Everything that happened was his parting gift to me. His closure. My pain. The thought of it broke me into pieces. I blocked him everywhere on social media. I would have blocked him physically if I could. He called the following day with a different number and continued with his apology. I wouldn’t listen to him so he came to my place the day before the wedding. He was accompanied by a man, and a woman he said was his sister. They came to apologize on his behalf. I didn’t want any more phone calls or visits so I forgave him. Even though I was very hurt and felt taken for a fool, I never said anything hurtful to him. I didn’t curse him in anguish. I cried myself to sleep almost every night.
After everything he put me through, Nelly wouldn’t leave me alone. After his wedding, he called with a different number to apologize again. I blocked the number. He called another time with another number to apologize yet again. I blocked that number too. It was like a game of call and get blocked. He wasn’t convinced I had forgiven him so he kept calling me with different numbers, and I didn’t want to have anything to do with him so I also kept blocking the numbers. At a point, I decided I wouldn’t block any more numbers so that he will know that I have truly forgiven him. The ghost of his evil deeds was pursuing him and he was looking for a refuge. “Maybe if I don’t block any more number, then he would know I’d truly forgiven him so we can both move on with our lives.
Now my problem is, his persistent calls no longer carry apologies. It’s now messages, “How are you doing?” “Have you closed from work?” “Are you sleeping?” “I have missed you.” “I have missed your Jollof. That your okro stew you used to prepare for me. I’ve missed it” “I want to see you so we talk properly.” “Unblock me so I can chat with you on WhatsApp.”
Can you imagine his shamelessness? I feel so angry and disrespected that I regret forgiving him. Sometimes I feel like setting him up so his wife will know what kind of devious man he is married to. Or better still, I could grant him his wish by giving him some goat Jollof laced with a pinch of rat poison so that he will eat and die, and then I will have my peace of mind. Knowing who he is, he will eat anything I give him with no questions asked.
How can I clean a man like Nelly off my shoulders without hurting his wife or without breaking his marriage as people accused Cindy of? In the end, I commend Cindy for the way she handled things. She did what I couldn’t do. She’s now at peace while I keep suffering from a man who would have left me long ago if I did what Cindy did.
–Gladys
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