When I first met my girlfriend, she was struggling to find a way into the university. She didn’t meet the required aggregate for direct admission, so she was planning to enrol in a long-distance diploma programme instead.
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We sat down and discussed the pros and cons, and I asked her to wait. I advised her to rewrite her WASSCE exams and improve her grades so she could qualify for direct admission.
When she told me she couldn’t afford to make that financial decision because her stepfather was unwilling to help, I stepped up immediately. I am not some rich guy walking the streets of Accra, but when you love someone, you share the little you have. I put my money on the table and supported her.
I paid for everything leading up to that journey, including an entire year of SHS 3 and extra private tuition. She told me she had informed her stepfather about everything, so he knew someone was making it happen, but this man did not contribute a single dime towards her education. Whenever she asked him for help, his only response was, “God will provide.”
She didn’t let me down. She studied diligently, passed her exams, and gained admission into the university.
I bought her application form and helped her complete all the necessary paperwork. Once she gained admission, I continued to be her sole financial provider. From her tuition and accommodation fees to upgrading her wardrobe, literally everything that mattered to her schooling came from me.
For all four years, I catered to her needs. Her mother would chip in from time to time, but if you ask my girlfriend today whether she ever lacked anything at school, she would tell you no. I made sure she had no reason to worry.
I did all of this purely out of love and kindness. But deep down, I was hurt. It pained me that her stepfather did not bother to call me, not even once, or leave a simple message to appreciate what I was doing for his daughter.
My family visited their home to formally announce my intention to marry her, the next day, he called to complain that I didn’t call him afterwards to thank him. According to him, I should have phoned to thank him for accepting me as the man who wanted to marry his stepdaughter. I didn’t pay much attention to his reaction.
Now, my girlfriend is about to graduate. As we were drawing up the guest list, I noticed that her stepfather’s name was on it. She had invited him, and he was planning to attend the ceremony.
I asked her to remove his name from the list and only inform him that she was graduating. I feel he completely neglected her educational, physical, emotional, and mental needs while I carried the entire burden as a young man.
However, she insists that he must attend. I told her plainly that if he comes, I will not attend the graduation.
I honestly struggle to understand what he is coming to celebrate after failing to support her throughout her educational journey.
For context, her biological father passed away a long time ago, so this is not a case of her stepfather abandoning the family after her father left.
My girlfriend says I am being insensitive to the situation. But what I find insensitive is her failure to consider my feelings and the role I have played in all of this. How am I supposed to feel watching him attend the ceremony, laughing, shaking hands with people, and behaving as though he did right by her, when the truth is that it was just me, and me alone, supporting her all this time?
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Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way, considering everything I sacrificed to ensure she graduated?
Because I genuinely mean it when I say this: I will not attend that graduation if her stepfather is there.
— Williams
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your feelings are very valid bro. but you can’t force someone to bow when they’ve already made their decision. If she can’t hurr someone else’s ego for you, then you have to rethink your decision of making her a wife , because she can clearly make other people’s ( her family) feelings and opinion interfer in your union and future plans.
She’ll choose her family before you
How you feel is ok, but you cannot act the way you want, her mind is made up. We work with humans not God so let it go.
You are putting her in am uncomfortable situation which is not fair. He might not have supported her but at least she lived under his roof. He gave money for feeding etc. Don’t make it too difficult for her. Let the man come. Think about how her mum would feel if her step dad doesn’t attend. Yes you helped her but that should destroy her family. Don’t put her in an comfortable situation to choose.
Your request is irrational. You are putting your girlfriend in an uncomfortable position. Before you met her, you don’t know how she was taking care of. Maybe the stepfather didn’t do much but he did something small. Allow her to appreciate him too. She appreciates what you have done, don’t now create enemies for your girlfriend.
This guy is behaving like a woman. Because you sponsored a girl in school, something sensible men don’t do, you think you have the right to determine who attends her graduation? Massa! You be correct? You will push this girl to break up with you over this senseless request and you will come back here claiming you sponsored a girl and she broke your heart. You owe her life abi because you be mister Otuaa? Stop this serious jokes.
Dasall!